Prix.

Yesterday was F1, and it was fucking enjoyable! It was my first time seeing the cars, and the roar of the engine is just, i don't know man, just makes me jizzz. All and all, it was great but whether to go again next year, i might reconsider. Maybe it wouldn't be as fun when you go there on your second try. Was fucking upset that L.Ham crashed out, soo disappointing. Webber deserves some punishment for his aggression too, but in the end should just say a big fuck you to that Virgin. Argh. Went to find Mariah Carey after the race and her voice really solid but figure really turned me off. Dam fat now, but okay give her a break, she's old, time to enjoy all the food in the world. And thumbs up to F.Alonso for perfect driving and R.Kubica for good try. :)

Last night made me reconsider taking up racing as a career. Oh here we go again..

I had zero motivation to get my ass off my bed this morning. Its bad because if i don't get up, my maid rants non-stop (under my command) and i get so pissed i scream back twice at loud. What a irony. Things got worst when the whole freaking ECP jammed right from Bedok, i had to clutch in at the jam so many times i think my testicles just lost their balance. And i was late and being stuck in a jam somewhat doesn't sound convincing, oh fuck i still don't care you know.

So glad to have met ZH for lunch today. Picked him up at NUH and we went HollandV for xlb(Y) again, i jizzed on my pants. And.. bad news for medical board. Shit, always happens.

What happened after work is something happy. But i'm not going to say what happened, because i love to be mysterious. I didn't know how i did it, but somehow i managed to and suddenly its like a leap forward. A little encouragement goes a long way, funny how little things light up my day.

You always had to make me feel this way. Like everything i do, its comparable to someone else. But hell no, it never was. You make me feel like i always had an intention, a motive for doing something. And i can't stand it at times. Whatever it is, its your call anyway. I still do things because of you, I don't know why. And i know you don't care, you probably think i'm up to some motive or something again. So i'mma keep the closet close, the rest is for you to find out.

PIXIE LOTT IS FUCKING HOT. JIZZ.

come to think of it.. this post should be titled JIZZ.

And.. having a glass of farmhouse and a lexus biscuit for dinner is <3 finishing them up at godlike speed, i need to stop myself!!!

Lost and Found.

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! BAMBI IS FOUND! :D

The story is this, last night around 11pm an indian Mr. Siva text me to say that he rescued Bambi while she almost got hit by a van on monday morning. I called him immediately when i received his text and rushed down to get Bambi. She didn't eat anything for 3 days :( poor girl.

Anyway, Bambi was very fortunate to be in Mr. Siva's safe hands who took care of her meticulously. And i myself is very lucky to have found Bambi back.

Bambi was so cute, Mr. Siva fell in love with her at first sight and he told me he couldn't bear to let her go. But oh well, my darling will always be my darling.

Thank you everyone who showed so much care and concern for Bambi and me. Clearly there are many Bambi adorers around! BIG THANKS!

Ouch.

20/09/10 is the worst day of my life. Bambi ran away from home and was last seen along Yio Chu Kang/Highland Road. Bambi is a Cavaliar Kings Charles Spanner whose fur is mixed with Hazelnut Brown and White. She has a medical condition and needs the attention of her owner soon. Please help to bring her home or if seen please contact me at 97367997. $$$Reward$$$ would be given for bringing Bambi safely home.

I miss her extremely bad already and I'm so worried about where she would be right now. She must be really home-sicked already. Come home soon girl girl, I miss you. :(

Devil.

Tonight, the moon is shining so brightly. I haven't seen it so bright in awhile, without much clouds covering it. The light emitted reflected off the roof tops, a sight not quite breathe taking.

Today, someone told me not to focus on what I don't have, but rather on what I have. I stopped and ponder on what my dear friend has told me, its so true. Really? Is that the way to live life in abundance? But sometimes its tough, because what you don't have, you want it badly. How hard would you fight for what you want?

I'm sad and disappointed. I can tell that day by day, you get worst. Feels like you're into some sort of crazy vicious cycle. But at the least of everything, I feel like there's life injected into you. What you want to do with your life, is your decision. I hope at the end of the day, you wouldn't regret.

I didn't chose like you, I did not give up when the going got tough. I hung in there to be the same old me. Even if there aint anything going on between us, I still wanted you to see me good and well. I didn't want you to worry about anything.

But whatever it is, whatever you chose to do, things seemed to go a whole lot better. I sense motivation and some joy about something I'm not exactly sure of. It seems like thing are starting to make sense for you. And I'm happy for you.

Though for so long I've tried and failed to be able to do this, I'm just glad someone that came into your life helped.

Now, I feel like its for the kill. Don't lose it, don't lose the momentum, its building up. And I'm so much on the edge. Go for the kill, take your train and smash into me and make me dead. I'm meant to die earlier, kill my heart. Because to hold on for some unknown reason to too tough for me.

That cup of tall javachip is really going to keep me up for awhile.

Is this a test? A test of faith? A test of the strength of you in me? I just can't erase that feeling I had of you at first sight. And I know its that you that made my heart flutter. Now, its too one-sided, we lost the romantic element.

My wild mind gave a thought last night, if I lose myself to be like you, could I win you back?

Its been long since I've seen you sane, surely you have found what you wanted and needed. Silently pleased for you.

And for me, to take a leap of faith to get my ass of that very edge of yours.

Snugg.

Words alone can't describe how much I need you here with me. You're always my missing piece, face it. Shag.. Night. A kind of night I hate being alone without you.

30days.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Punched.

So, tell me what happens after this?

So what if you get everything you want in life? so what if you achieve everything you wanted to? and so what if everything seemed so perfect? but there is just a glimpse of something you are too sure of how to deal with. something you always thought that you are making a mistake, something you will never be forgiven, something that every right go wrong, and you never go the distance.

With everything moving along, i just wished i could slow down at times, to just sit down and look into your eyes and share with you. you know you are the best companion for me, but you were never there. you know we'll have the time of our life, but you're never there. you chose not to be there, you chose to be somewhere else i don't want to be. a place where i really find it hard to comprehend why i would lose out to, a place where i will never admit defeat to.

If this can hold on for so long, tell me exactly how long more it'll take. i really wish i could let go, wash the wound with water, let it hurt once and for all. time passes and it never helps, i just find it harder and harder to understand anything. honestly i hate myself for being such a loser. if only i could brace up.

Once in awhile, it'll come to this moment where i'll sit down and think. but nothing gets done. i don't know what i'm fighting for, i just feel like i'm stuck somewhere. like in a story i cannot get out of, like in a nightmare i'll never wake up from.

Though i'm scared, i stick my head into it. i'll still do dumb things to find that nightmare. a nightmare unheard of.

The irony is, you haven't played a single part in my life, and yet, you could mean so much to me.

There's so much to tell you, but i guess, you'll never be as proud of me.

I can't make you smile like you used to.

Jobrux.

Here I am, sitting on the 22nd storey of some tower. Plugged into my ipod playing off christmas carols, a festival I soooo missed. Slouching on a nice and soft comfy single seat sofa, over-looking the view of singapore from above, with my da vinci feeling muchly neglected.

I'm starting to feel tired and wanting to fall asleep.. But random thoughts kept me thinking of what could and could have been.

And it is indeed a point in your life where many things start changing dramatically, where many thoughts and relationships transit into something more complex and yet distant. Its a mixed feeling of happiness and upset when I think about many friends who left to do their study. Oka is leaving on sunday morning, and I will miss him dearly.

Sometimes, I feel that its a point of time when your life is taking a big 180. And can I say, I'm running out of my teenage years?

But surprising comes a thought, that love is redundant. I find myself foolish to try so hard at times, to be true and harsh to myself. Because you never find love, love walks to you. Babe, I'm born to be a player man! So I better be a darn good one!

Not soon before long, I won't have the days that I had. And I will surely do my best to achieve again. I will do best to keep you aside, for I'm not deserved to be missed by you.

Bites back, the toughest decision to make in life is always the hardest one.

I guess its a indication, an omen to move on and pursue personal legend. Really? Will the whole world conspire to help you win, this?

Victus.

As usual, work is boring.. Haha, is it really work in the first place? Its funny that I report every morning, thinking long and hard, how do I waste time the right way. In a way that I won't be in my own guilt trap, and another way such that I won't grow horizontally. Its hard, and I find it challenging. Its hard not to be in a routine, all of my own, unique as ever.

I'm so glad for Tiger that he shot a solid 65 and make the cut. I realise that whatever he's done, he's still that childhood idol of mine. What he have done is indeed ugly, but is there anything else he can do to make things right. Its tough, but I'm glad he tried to have his wife back.

That labrador guide dog is so cute! I wish I could have a huge labrador who could live happily with bambi. Quite impossible for now, and I know bambi is selfish enough for me to keep all my love for her. She's so petty, but irreplaceable forever. :)

And yeah, sharapova kicked ass 6-0, 6-0!

Now you see what happens when you're too free?

Botin is taking forever to come back, I'm going to start twitting!

Work is ending in 45mins or so.. I shall indulge in my da vinci. Gym, shopping and going the distance with oka later!

Miss ATEAM already although we just met over the weekend for kayu and baby! EXPENDABLES is the fucking best!!! My favorite show of all time! I'm going to watch it every other day! Testosterone booster!!!

Ciao!

Array.

I know its not me that you're talking about. it makes me feel sick to know the reason why things turned out this way, and think you're dam selfish about this. but i don't know why, i still feel for you.

Feels good after a 45min jog with gary the lobo.

Tomorrow is yet another day of wasting my time. Should i gym after work? or should i go home and rest early?

I miss home cooked food, and i miss talking to you again. even if it means i'm made used of.

Cut.

Who likes to be in a routine?

You want to be out of it when you're in, dread facing the same thing everyday. you want your freedom back, and you want to have a choice to make.

But when you're out, you feel weird having to make choices. you dread feeling ill-disciplined, and you dislike being inefficient.

Either way, its hard.

Take time, don't rush baby. its time to grow out of your fantasies.