unravel.

days have been gruesome. gym and training and gym later is quite a madness, but i really love getting my head into it. tell me its more than worth anything to see each other working hard. i think it just makes my day when i see people trying their best, but i feel like crap when i see you giving up. i feel helpless when you dont help yourself, but i promise i'll be there through it all. keep working hard guys, we'll make our work pay off. 

yes, i dont really have anything substantial to blog or even talk about. but i realized i really love just talking about the things that run through my mind. random, minor, weird and just stuffs that make me feel for. and honesty, i dont really care how you see it. 

i just finished letters to sam and i think its more than just great. i haven't read a book that i could relate to so well, and it has taught me so much. its as though i found out more about life, more about others, and the best, yourself. so many things i couldn't comprehend about my complicated self, i found it easier through a book. is it weird if i take a book for a best friend? guess, its going to be a book i would make reference to through this lifetime. i secretly hope everyone would just read it. 

i have been having those sleepless and ugly nights. i need to turn and toss around for some infinite time before i unconsciously fall asleep. and i really hate it. any possible ways to totally block out random thoughts? some are worth pondering, but some i really think not. 

is there such a thing- a twilight of tiredness? like, i'm so tired but when lights are off, i just cant sleep. my eye lids are so heavy i cant open them, but thoughts keep running through. in day, i'm awake, but i want to sleep so badly at the same time. maybe its just a messed up body clock.. oh wells. 

talking about a really great experience, prawning! or.. proning! thanks to someone's smart ass idea, we went proning to kill some time and it just turn out to be one hell of a time! i never tasted prawns so good, and its not even seasoned or marinated or whatever crap those big restaurants do to their prawns. the freshness really brought the best out of those prawns, and whenever i think about it, it gets me real hungry! i'm definitely getting my ass back there. thanks budd!

                                                             yet, another whacky idea!

i'm going to doze off.. 

class bbq tomorrow, sounds so fun! not very, cause its at clementi.

but there's gym tomorrow! surely going to be more laughter and joy! not forgetting sweat and pain! 

keep it strong, keep it together, move along? you sure i can? am i really strong enough? 

rigid?

everyone should watch REC, and stop playing hotel 656 or 252 or whatever triple digit it is. i haven't had such a horrifying movie for a long time, and i totally found the show worth my money. had one hell of a time with budd, squirming and moaning with the gore. and we realized central's not bad, and you should stop copying what i would order and eat. 

training got cancelled cause of the rain. i had a fucking good time playing bridge with the fuckers. 

i'm fucking pissed that OP's postponed to next week. actually not fucking, just annoyed with the dam delay. okay okay okay, i had enough of "julian, you're an asshole", "julian you're so inflexible", "julian you're so NOT understanding", "julian, you have no right to be angry cause you're a mother fucking free-rider in this" and what else. 

i understand that your health is not at best condition now, and i truly empathize with that fact. but the OP's nothing so great, that you need to be at your best to present. i mean, haven't we practiced and rehearse more than enough and we have nothing else to add to our presentation. so cant we just get on normally with life? 

okay, julian's such a fucker and i totally agree. 

anyhow, i'm finishing beyond ugly, and i cant wait wait to get my hands on twilight. 

i realized i really enjoy owning things.