another day...

today seem so normal. most of my days seem just like another day. i'm like living the same way everyday. its boring. i dont know why i feel like that.

so i got to school pretty early today. cause i took cab la actually. haha. did some last min reading on the bio SPA test. so before the test, my friends were really nervous. not all but some others like rocket and junrong. do u think people like leon and jovan would get nervous over tests? haha. but i wasn't nervous either la. cause i paid attention during every lab sessions. so i wasn't afraid. so i took the test. and hopefully i can do well in it. although i won't know the marks because its part of my o levels' result, but i still hope that its a good mark.

nothing special about the other lessons today. other then the SPA test. chinese felt different today again. i was afraid that teacher would kill me. cause i owe her hell loads of work. work that was supposed to handed up on thursday, i still haven't handed any to her now. dam. so i have to slog today. hopefully she won't kill me the next day cause i definately won't be able to finish it tonight.

after school i wanted to stay behind and finish the chinese work. but i went down to catch a little bit of the girl's match. they won dunman high and got into zone semi's. congrats to them. after that i wanted to go back to study. but i was alone. so i got that idea out of my mind. got weehoe to accompany me up to get my bag down. then came down again. stayed in the stadium for while. talked to the girls bout their match and jiangsen. then i decided to go to the canteen to buy drinks with weiyang. on the way there, i realized i lost my wallet. i quickly rushed up to class to look for it but i couldn't find it any where under my table. my mind was just in a blank. i just couldn't remember where i last left my wallet. then suddenly kun wei came into my class and ask if this is my wallet. he told me i left it under yong qiang's table during chinese lesson. SO I WAS SO SO SO LUCKY TO FIND IT BACK. and it was in such a weird way. thank God for that. and thank you weiyang for accompanying me up to class.

then weiyang left to met his girl. wei xiong also went to met his girl. i was hungry and i saw wenmei. ask her where she was going and she said that she was going to canteen to eat. so lucky again. then we went to canteen to eat. after that, walk her back to tower hall and i went off to meet dearie.

thats like about all for today. i want to finish chinese work. oh, and i got 13/25 for georg. what another disappointment.

we try to overcome.

its not the end to lose today alright? although i didn't watch your match. but i knew u tried your best from the way u spoke to me about it. i know. i know. i know. and i understand. i've been in positions like this before. so i know how u feel. sometimes, when u finally try to do your best and people dont see it. i know the frusfrations. i know its shame when u cant play to your best. i know how u'll feel when u dont play up to expectations. but all this, are just stepping stones before becoming a great player. so never be negative of how u played on court. dont brood over this for too long alright? it should be off your mind by the next game. its never going to be that easy to become champions. there'll always be a price to pay before succedding. the higher u climb, the higher u'll fall. so mentally, u should be ready.

baby, i know not everything is going right now. all the more, u should stand up and prove to yourself that u're able to get over all this. u know u're not alone.
smile girl.

match update.

first 3 matches of second round.
6th: 22th feb, 2pm Dunman vs AHS
35 vs 48
(11) 3-3's
7th: 24th feb, 3pm AHS vs Temasek
65 vs 30++
( 21) 3-3's
8th: 28th feb, 1pm Tampines vs AHS
47 vs 62
(14) 4-3's

all this.

still trying to get the studying momentum. its tough when the bball season starts. so i tried to catch up. but i'm caught up by someone emotionally. so its tough. had amaths test. i'll probably fail this one again. ARGH!!!! i hate to have this failing feeling. it just suck. its like stopping me from studying. i'll just ask myself why i should carry on with this when i tries so hard and i know i'm going to fail. then i had a retest after that for chemistry. so i have two test on the same day and i had to study for ting xie. why cant the teachers understand somehow. i thought its different in a sports class. but i'm realising that its not different. so chemistry wasn't that well-done either. lost 6marks outta 12 for the dam chemical formulas. so the most i can get now is 32 out of 40. because i knew i got another 2 wrong. dumb la. its dumb to know the highest i can get is 32 when i want to do better than 32.5. i wanted to improve. but why is it getting harder and harder? dam. maybe i should just let it go this term. next term i'll get all that back.

after chem test. i talked to ms tay. privately. talked to her about how i feel about many things. they include u girl. u might not believe that i actually did, but i really did regardless who u believe. i felt that talking to ms tay helps. i mean she tries to understand from my point of view and she tells me about a girl's mind. sometimes, i just need a person beside to understand all that i'm trying to do.

girl, i know its tough on u now. but everyone has their ups and downs. never think of giving up because now's not the time. u have all the help u can have from the people around u. but u have to help yourself first. dont ever ever think of letting all this go. because its tiring to get your determination back. i know now, the past and maybe in the near future. i shouldn't be like this. i know u're going through all these now and i shouldn't be such a bastard. but always bear this in your mind that i never wanted to make u unhappy or to make things difficult for u. i just wanted the best for u. maybe u just dont like the way i mould things for u. maybe u just need more space from me. babe, i look like that in front of u. but inside, i cant take it anymore. i dont know how u feel. maybe u just really cant be bothered with me anymore. but pls pls dont give everything up. because i'm still there loving u.
theres ups and down. and after downs, u'll have ups. so look forward. i'm sure your tomorrow will be better. -muchlove

all this.

still trying to get the studying momentum. its tough when the bball season starts. so i tried to catch up. but i'm caught up someone emotionally. so its tough. had amaths test. i'll probably fail this one again. ARGH!!!! i hate to have this failing feeling. it just suck. its like stopping me from studying. i'll just ask myself why i should carry on with this when i tries so hard and i know i'm going to fail. then i had a retest after that for chemistry. so i have two test on the same day and i had to study for ting xie. why cant the teachers understand somehow. i thought its different in a sports class. but i'm realising that its not different. so chemistry wasn't that well-done either. lost 6marks outta 12 for the dam chemical formulas. so the most i can get now is 32 out of 40. because i knew i got another 2 wrong. dumb la. its dumb to know the highest i can get is 32 when i want to do better than 32.5. i wanted to improve. but why is it getting harder and harder? dam. maybe i should just let it go this term. next term i'll get all that back.

after chem test. i talked to ms tay. privately. talked to her about how i feel about many things. they include u girl. u might not believe that i actually did, but i really did regardless who u believe. i felt that talking to ms tay helps. i mean she tries to understand from my point of view and she tells me about a girl's mind. sometimes, i just need a person beside to understand all that i'm trying to do.

girl, i know its tough on u now. but everyone has their ups and downs. never think of giving up because now's not the time. u have all the help u can have from the people around u. but u have to help yourself first. dont ever ever think of letting all this go. because its tiring to get your determination back. i know now, the past and maybe in the near future. i shouldn't be like this. i know u're going through all these now and i shouldn't be such a bastard. but always bear this in your mind that i never wanted to make u unhappy or to make things difficult for u. i just wanted the best for u. maybe u just dont like the way i mould things for u. maybe u just need more space from me. babe, i look like that in front of u. but inside, i cant take it anymore. i dont know how u feel. maybe u just really cant be bothered with me anymore. but pls pls dont give everything up. because i'm still there loving u.
theres ups and down. and after downs, u'll have ups. so look forward. i'm sure your tomorrow will be better. -muchlove

start to catch up.

so i took two tests today. had georg and emaths. dam i didn't feel good about doing the test. i'll probably fail these two test. argh........
i must i must i must study hard and do well for the next test to recover for this.

so today's periods wasn't too boring. at least i learnt in every lesson. i feel good with days without chinese. i dont know why. i dont learn in chinese. hopefully i'll pass this term's chinese. had amaths and emaths in two periods. hopefully mr chan dont lose hope in me. and we started on new chapter quadratic graphs today. i could concentrate luckily. now i've recovered. i'm have a lot to catch in every subject.

got home and played dota for an hour with chunyong, leeyang, jovan, leon and zhengyi. then i stop and did my work. till now and decided for a short entry.

i feel good about doing many things a day. at least i dont feel i've wasted one. at least it keeps me from thinking about her and getting emo and all.

so i hope u'll call me when u get home and pls get home early. cause i worry for u my dear.

and next test, i want to do well. wednesday, dunman, here i come.

more to come..

so when fever is going away. my nose doesn't stops to bleed. went to see the doctor once more this morning. anyway its the 3rd time i went to see him in 5days. i think he's sick of seeing me. got bad nasal congestion. hopefully it'll get better soon and i can play basketball in a few days time. hopefully the fever and giddyness would LEAVE. and hopefully i'll be able to make it to school tomorrow and catch up with all my work by this week.

and i hope i'll do well for tomorrow elective test.

i want to do well.

my valentines.

so i believe that God has a sense of humour. i went to church on sat with weiyang and leon. the church was Full Gospel Assembly. i've never been to a christian church more than 3 times in my life. and this time was my second time. i was well taken of there by weiyang and leon. thank you guys. this church was a really small one compared to cornerstone and city harvest. FGA's service consist about 20-30++ people only. while city harvest has 8000 people in a service. so if u're in FGA, u'll probably feel the cosiness in there. so that day's sevice message was about resting well. so that was what God wants to tell me. Maybe.


so just a day before valentines. i was very very tired on monday. so i got home at 3pm to have a afternoon nap. woke up at 7pm. i had chemistry test the next day so i had to do some revision. i woke up with my head heavy and giddy. wasn't in a mood to study at all. but i forced myself to read through the notes. i knew i had to go to school next day. how can i not go for school when my baby's expecting a big surprise from me? so i just read through the notes and went to sleep. i couldn't take it anymore. my head started burning quickly. i took my temperature. it was 37.6. i thought i still could attend school. so went to school the next day. took my temperature before i went school and it was 38 already. so i couldn't concentrate at all during lesson. i just laid like a dead person on the table. i was very very cold. gentle wind blew against me from outside and i had goosebumps immediately. everyone told me to go home and rest. but i want to watch the team play at 2pm. mitchel, qiangsen, k.c, weixiong and i coulnd't play. so the team is left with 7 people to play. wei xiong was forced to play in the end. so i sat on the bench uncomfortably knowing that i'm going to be dead sick. i left school right after the match. i didn't listen to the after-match lecture because i was too giddy. waited for a taxi for approx. 10mins but none came. i stood under the sunlight and i thought i couldn't make it. for the first time in my life, i thought i was just going to faint there. but i held on and waited for the cab. when i got home i took my temperature. it was 39.6 this time. i thought i had to be admitted to the hospital already. i took some antibiotics. they were left-overs from my sister. then i took a nap. woke up, my temperature still didn't drop. so i had to go to the doctor. doctor said my fever was serious. it would take around 3-4 days to go down. and my fever would come and go. to make things worst. my throat hurts like mad. so we didn't go out for valentines. because she was tired and she needs rest as well.
many people in class showed concern to me. thank you leeyang, andy, weiyang, leon, jovan, chunyong, andrea, grace, chester, ben, gabriel, zhiying, wen mei, tracy, mitchel, qiangsen, huiwen, weehoe, zhi hang, rocket, wei xiong and junyi. if theres anyone i missed. i'm sorry! so it was heart-warming to know that all this people still cares for me. most surprising was weehoe to show concern for me. thank you weehoe. although i know u dont read my blog at all.

so i had to stay at home for two days to rest. and if i'm still not well. i cant get to school on friday. so i slept like 23hours yesterday? the only time i wake up was to eat and take my medicine and bathe to cool myself down. some of u all might be jealous that i'm able to have 23hours of sleep right? but this 23hours was a torture. i coulnd't breathe properly because of running nose, i got sore throat which hurts like mad, my whole body was so hot. yet i couldn't expose myself to the air-con as i was cold on the outside. temperature stayed around 38.6-38.8. i wasn't in the mood to do anything. nothing at all. i just had to worried about how i am going to cope when i get back to school. i had no appetitte to eat at all. i had to force every scoop on porridge down that stinging throat.

so it was tough to get over with yesterday. thank you dearest for coming to visit me. i feel better today. fever went down. but my sore throat still hurts like mad. hopefully the sore throat stop hurting. so maybe God wants me to rest. rest real real well.

baby, i need u the most now.

match update.

last two matches of first round.
4th: 9th feb, 3pm AHS vs Junyuan
87 vs 45
(17) 2-3's
5th: 14th feb, 2pm Macpherson vs AHS
30++ vs 60
MC

many things i did in a day, which makes me smile.

school felt much better today. smiling, laughing, smiling and laughing almost all day. maybe part of the reason is because we get to leave class right after first recess. had lessons with much lighter heart today. managed to concentrate better and i feel good helping people around me. so played match against bedok view today. this are the results of the first 3 matches.
1st: 19th jan, 3pm AHS vs ChaiChee
44 vs 13
(2) 0-3's
2nd: 24th jan, 2pm EastView vs AHS
35 vs 50
(15) 3-3's
3rd: 6th feb, 1pm BedokView vs AHS
33 vs 58
(14) 3-3's

accept me!! pls. i'm not that bad after all. and i'm serious about her.
thank you louisa for the gift. i love the game! :)

for a reason.

dont love me for fun girl,

let me be the one girl.

love me for a reason,

let the reason be love.

to stop the rotting.

OPS! i know my blog is ROTTING. hahaha. but i'm really busy and stuff la. have basketball tournament, then school is like so dam busy now. so much work and expectations from the teachers in sec 3. basketball match has chai chee, east view, bedok view, junyuan and macpherson. won chai chee and east view already. bedok view on monday.

chinese new year!
was quite meaningful to me. had a good reunion dinner at home. Dad, Mum, Sis, Me and the two maids sat down together to have steamboat at home. went over to my grandDAD's place for reunion after the meal. but it was already about 10pm at night. i saw grandDAD. because of some family problems, my family didn't spend time with my grandDAD for years. so only time we reunion is during CNY. so i saw grandDAD and gave him a hug. though we didn't see each other for a long time, it hurt when i hug off those bones on him. HE IS FREEKING FREEKING SKINNY. his like 40kg only. and his quite tall. so its only his bones that weighs. anyway, i feel good mixing around with my relatives. after that i went to watch i'm not stupid 2. 1am show. lols. met cheryl at tamp's GV. haha. after watching, we walked from tamp to pasir ris. lols. dam dumb. cause there was no other transport left. lols. then the rest of the days were visiting visiting and visiting. until school started.

today 2/2
first period was chem. dont know why but the whole class was like struggling through just the first period. second period, SS. was worst. i thought SS means social studies but turns out to be self-study. (idea from leon) i guess the class learnt nothing and we have a common test on monday. chapter is pages 12-44. freeking long for the first test. and teacher didn't even ask to open the book for revision. she just teach about SBQ. the whole class doesn't even seem prepared. lols. dont know what she's thinking. after that had e maths. that was better. could at least learn and absorb some shit. cause andy, leon and all suddenly got high then we went crazy joking in class. huiwen, andy, jovan and i started whistling in rhythem which was so freeking freeking funnny to me. i almost dropped my jaw. hahaha. then had bio. teacher nv come!! then one pretty pretty relief teacher came. 19 years old only. hahaha. then had chinese after that. then english. school ended. andy went to buy a $179 crumpler. omg. my heart felt the pain when he handed the blue notes to the cashier. hahahha. then went to meet her at tanah merah mrt. was about 5pm already. then we took a walk then sat at a CC. it was a pleasant one at least. :) sorry WENJIA!!!