when i'm down.

again, i go unnoticed. i miss you. i hope u remember everything that happen. there won't be a second time for me to show you how much i actually love you. must i be the most depressing guy. i dont know why i get affected so much. i dont understand how you bear to see me cry and go. even until now, i feel pain. tears of pain, tears of emptiness. i really miss you a lot and i just hope to see you once everyday. just once. i feel terrible inside. to be unable to talk to you, to not see you. i cant go on writing, i'm going to break down again. ........

friendships.

friendships. ask myself, i dont think i ever had any friends who always remained as friends. look, why friends have friendships as thin as threads? and why does people still make friends with each another?

to backstab each other? to talk behind each other's back. to have fun while someone's not around. to be a hypocrite. to do things that you know might hurt your 'friend'.

whats most common in school to me now?, to make fun of each other. u have fun, yes, your friends have fun, yes. but when someone goes overboard, there ain't no more chances for you to say sorry now. once, twice, trice and then you might just get condemned. its sad, that we all treat each other like that.

why? of all reasons, it has to be computer games? to break some of us up? why must u people betray each other because you wanted to gain something in the game. why cant we just grow up and have fun together.

when we look back, we'll surely regret about how we lived our childhood. why friends go in different groups? i thought we're all labelled 'friends'.

i know its impossible that this post make much difference. but i just want some to know about how i feel. this is how i feel. i wish everyone can go out and just have fun. but never once that we went out without making fun of someone until someone got so offended that it spoils the day.
or even so, the person dont get offended, the person keep it to himself and already got hurt.

everyone has emotions, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their first-times and people have their habits. why cant friends who grew up for 3 years together who almost seeing each other for 280days a year accept each other. dont blame someone totally for changing his personality, because everyone does.

i love my friends, but i dont wish everyone to have a relationship that weak, that light, that meaningless. we're supposed to be there for each other.

stomp. founder's day.

stomp was great yesterday. its our honour to be in the grand finale. sports players, people always think that we're incapable to help the school in anyway. others always think that sports players only know how to fool around and then slack in everything.

but you people are wrong. if you give us any opportunity, we'll prove you wrong again.

hah! months of practice finally paid off yesterday. started practicing since the last week of may until now. just for 10mins for a 50th founder's day. its short, really short, but everything was worthed it. even though we had to come to school earlier and then wait for our turn to go up to the hall to perform was really long and tiring for some others. i found it really great. i love to be around with all my friends. even if we're doing nothing, its great to just talk.

encore was great too. every one was just fooling around, playing to the beat. surprisingly, everyone including the timekeepers could play to the beat. hahhaa. because they often screw up even if we were playing the stomp beat. hahaha. nevermind about that. so it was just great to do something on the stage for the school.

i hope everyone enjoyed our performance.

Mr. Gani, i dont know when we'll see you again. neither do we think we have the chance to learn anything from you. it was great, to make a friend like you. though every session was kinda short, we really learnt a lot of things from you. not something that i would hear from any teachers, but you, a extraordinary instructor. hopefully, we'll meet up soon and good luck for your NDP performance!

we went to t-mart for lan after that. luckily we won both matches. if not i dont know what would have happened. tell me what would have happened if we lost both matches. is it a friendship gone? or silence for a couple for days? i dont know. maybe dota spoils friendship.

i got home early yesterday and then slept early. sorry i couldn't wake up and talk to you louisa!! i was really sleepy. i'll wait for your call later today then.

oh ya. we swam and had dinner at andrea's place on thursday after stomp practice. it was really fun. but i was really tired, so i couldn't enjoy to the fullest. but can u imagine carrying tse see up and throwing her into the water. its really really fun. hahhaa. she'll hate me when she sees this. but Sarpino's really great!! thanks andrea and uncle ang. hahaa.

Superman loves Sarpino.

gym.

i love going to the gym with the team. its just great. to help one another because of a same goal, its just fantastic.

school have been really busy recently, still. test and homework around, with events and trainings to add to the hectic schedule is really not easy to juggle time around. i started this term better. i got A2 for history and A1 for chemistry. luckily i did not slack that much. but next week. there's going to be elect. geog, biology and a maths test. so, its going to be a real test again.

we had training today and it wasn't a very pleasant one. some people got frusfrated and some just got pissed off. i'm one who's both. i'm sorry rocket for spitting out those words. anyway, i still love training together.

hey, i hate it when u say things that you dont like and then you do the same in the end.

stomp's really cool. tomorrow's the big day. hopefully everything will go successfully and i hope that everyone on stage will be enjoying themselves. and those on the floor, they should be envious of the flow stomp go about. be surprised that sportsmen can play music.

i'm so happy i have you. u know its you. :)

see, i knew it would work. everything's better.

i'm a Superman.
i'm a Superman who loves Sarpino's.
i'm a Superman made of chocholate.

tough.

last week was really tiring and busy. having test almost everyday, was torturous. many things happened this week too. unhappy ones.

we had friendly match with nanyang jc on friday evening at 6pm. only 8 sec3's were available so, shiyang, zi qi, alvin, wei xiong, qiangsen and sam was called along. we won in the end and i think we did quite well. our scoring percentage was low, but i know its because most of us haven't been training regularly now and we created many shots.

i thought i did quite well, but i know i missed some unpardonable shots. but at the same time, made some which my team-mates thought i wouldn't make it. i feel my physical ability, including strength and stamina, improving.

before friday's friendly, everything was in a mess. i've never been like that before. its just not me. i just felt like i'm a monster that eats people up when i look back at things. for that i'm sorry. luckily, it was kinda cleared up before the match.

after the match, everyone except mitchel and shiyang couldn't make it for dinner together. we went to this coffee shop nearby. coach treated us to dinner. it was great. i love being together with the team. it just feels different to be together with the basketball team and my other group of friends. we have this different feeling. there's a bond. u know everyone's behind someone's back.

after that, k.c asked me and chunyong to go over to stay. so we both agreed and then k.c followed us to our homes first before going down to his place. soon after getting to his place, we all slept. dam funny. haha. then leaving early the next morining to school for stomp.

today weehoe and chunyong are coming to my club for gym and a swim. hopefully its a good day for training and bonding again.

hey, u know what. everytime i'm there, u dont know. everytime i let loose, u come after me. u know what? before u actually did so much, i gave up already. now, it's up to you. it becomes another reason to be unhappy.

chunyong, is it because of that small incident that changed things? if it's really like that then i'm sorry. i dont know how i can make it back to you, but i certainly missed the good times we had.

now.

I haven't blog for really long. i was lazy, tired and just cant be bothered to blog. i just felt like blogging again so... i've been really busy recently. basketball training, hanging out with friends, girlfriend, reharsels for Founder's day, World Cup, Flag day yesterday and always thinking of gym, studying and golf whenever i have the time.

Everything's going okay now. i haven't gotten back my study mood yet. i think i took too big a break during the June holidays and that i'm struggling to change my mood. now. but dont worry about that, soon i'll be revising everyday at least and do well for my end-of-years.

Basketball's not too bad also. everyone's trying to do work-outs at least once a week. i hope i really help them when i call for a gym session. C'boys having their tournament now. they're doing well and surely they'll come up with some fantastic result anyway. good that seniors and juniors trying hard to have better relationships. i'm sure the talk from mr.hoo that day really helped.

Golf have been slack recently. i dont know why. i just played this tournament a week ago and i just played very badly. i know i wouldn't be able to play well if i dont practice consistently, but really i dont not have time now and i dread training. dread training not because i lost passion in golf but because something bad just got between me and some golf buddies. so i really want to get into another training squad and get into buisness soon. now i'm looking at Laguna National's HSBC training scheme. hopefully the school can help me apply successfully.

Flag day yesterday. at first i thought it was going to be boring and stupid. but at the end of everything, it was cool and i thought i like to go around doing this because i feel good. leon, zhengyi, andy and i went down to kembangan mrt while others went to different areas. among four of us, i got the heaviest tin. i think your initiative is crucial. many people look like they didn't care and some gives the look that they're trying to avoid u. but when u go up and approach them, they actually returns with a smile. mostly whether they donates or not. everytime someones donates, it just spurs me on to go on and on. although i dont know why i'm helping this organization to raise funds but i'm sure it's of a good cause. there's this POSB machine in the mrt. everytime people withdraws money from the machine and walk out, i tend to approach them. in the mean time, they're trying to organize a few 50-dollars notes into their wallet but they never donated. those who donated come mostly from the not-so well-dressed. and i'm really glad they did. the biggest donar i got was this black guy (i dont know if he's a malay or indian). he's around his early 20's. looks very casual but he actually donated a 10-dollar note. he looked like he wanted to avoid me from far but when i actually approach him, he flip open his thin wallet but could not find a coin. he ended up folding a 10-dollar note and putting it in willingly. and he walked off with a smile, and i go on saying many thank you's. i dont know how i should express myself when he donated so much that i thought of giving him all the stickers i had with me. haha. it was quite stupid. but i know i had a wonderful day like that.

Louisa and i have been great. everything have been going much better after the holidays. and i'm sure we can say that we love each other more than a great deal more now. about the thing we talked about last night. i dont want to affect your decision in whether you're going or not. because it's my problem. i dont want you to give in to me like that. i also want u to go and have fun. anyway, i have friends coming to my place too, its like i have no right. so i just want to tell u a big sorry about how i showed about it. u have your test today and i hope u'll do really well. i just hope that everything will go on like this and maybe improve. all i can say is that i miss you all the time and i'm sure u wish to spent all the time u can with me. i love you!

Tomorrow morning's the World Cup finals. so many people are coming to my place tonight. leon, Chunyong, Chester and Zhengyi have confirmed. Andy, Andrea and K.c are still in i dont know's. i support France since day1 and i have confidence that they'll win.

I'm going down to andrea's house later to swim and then study. common test tomorrow, hopefully i'll do well. call me darling.......