Injured.
haven't been blogging for a long time. not because i dont want to, but just very tired sometimes. well, life have been not bad, not good for me.
argh, lost to ngee ann today. its such a screwed up feeling. there's no one i can talk to about it, neither there's anyone that can understand how i feel. its so fucked up. its okay if we played well and lost, but the thing is that we played like crap and embarrased ourseleves on home soil. its a disgusting feeling for me.
honestly, i cant continue playing like this. i feel so fucked up now. things are so different now, its not the same anymore. if i put in effort, then where's yours. i hate to compare, but fuck it. this is a team game, no choice. everyone has to put in the same shit.
i dont care how good you are, or how weak you are, i just want everyone to fight togther. because you guys make me want to quit sometimes. i hate fighting alone.
you make feel like a piece of shit to you okay. dont come to me when you need me, and take me as a piece of nothing when you dont need my help. you can have your attitude, i wont say anything. but neither will you have my respect.
if i'm so detestable, then i'm sorry. at least i tried to work together.
and still, i hope everyone would pick themseleves up and see the problem. if you all still care. please think about our goals. i feel like the team's playing without a goal already.
so i hurt myself real bad in today's game. got knocked in my knee, smacked on the face and all the other shits. i know they are part of the game. but this time, its really bad. now i have to limp on both leg, with a swelling knee and ankle. God knows how long they'll take to recover. and i still have to put on the guards and run my ass off the court.
well, we could have won the game. everyone alway says that they could have won, could have won it easily. thats what all the losers would say, but the problem is whether they know their problem to losing.
everyone knows their problem, but does the team as a whole know their problem? i hope we dont become the losers.
after the game, got home and had dinner. not long later i had to limp off the house with the golf bag to hit the driving range. had to do some practice before tomorrow's golf game. look, its so fucked up. feeling so screwed up inside and i still have to go out there and prepare myself for another set of competitions. after one setback, i have to stand up immediately and continue fighting. i know i have to be strong.
home at 9.30pm. now just doing some blogging, before going to bath and repair all my injuries. deep heat lotion, massage, english bandage, chinese bandage, ice packs. how screwed up am i. God heal me.
Chinese New Year is different this year for me. i went to Genting Highlands, and had fun. the theme park made me feel good, i will go there again when i have the chance. good to know that some people still love me although not seeing each other for a long time. good to have the chance to catch up with some people. and i had the chance to drive the car. dam it was a great chance for me. i always wanted to drive the real car, so when we got to quiet roads of Malaysia, i begged my mum to let me hit the accelerator. so now i can drive an auto car, its pretty easy though.
school have been very busy. with so much tests around every week, its stressing me up at times. but when i do well, it gives me a great sense of satisfaction. sense of satisfaction is important to me, i realised that i've been going for an extra mile and having more commitments compared to others, just because of one goal and reason. --- My Sense of Satisfaction. ---
so i have been juggling with time a lot recently. hopefully i can settle down very soon, because O levels is not very far away actually! approximately 7months left, after two months of holidays and weekends, its going to been really quick.
i hope God is there.
i hope You can see everything around.
and please please please make things better.
i hope you can Save everything.
argh, lost to ngee ann today. its such a screwed up feeling. there's no one i can talk to about it, neither there's anyone that can understand how i feel. its so fucked up. its okay if we played well and lost, but the thing is that we played like crap and embarrased ourseleves on home soil. its a disgusting feeling for me.
honestly, i cant continue playing like this. i feel so fucked up now. things are so different now, its not the same anymore. if i put in effort, then where's yours. i hate to compare, but fuck it. this is a team game, no choice. everyone has to put in the same shit.
i dont care how good you are, or how weak you are, i just want everyone to fight togther. because you guys make me want to quit sometimes. i hate fighting alone.
you make feel like a piece of shit to you okay. dont come to me when you need me, and take me as a piece of nothing when you dont need my help. you can have your attitude, i wont say anything. but neither will you have my respect.
if i'm so detestable, then i'm sorry. at least i tried to work together.
and still, i hope everyone would pick themseleves up and see the problem. if you all still care. please think about our goals. i feel like the team's playing without a goal already.
so i hurt myself real bad in today's game. got knocked in my knee, smacked on the face and all the other shits. i know they are part of the game. but this time, its really bad. now i have to limp on both leg, with a swelling knee and ankle. God knows how long they'll take to recover. and i still have to put on the guards and run my ass off the court.
well, we could have won the game. everyone alway says that they could have won, could have won it easily. thats what all the losers would say, but the problem is whether they know their problem to losing.
everyone knows their problem, but does the team as a whole know their problem? i hope we dont become the losers.
after the game, got home and had dinner. not long later i had to limp off the house with the golf bag to hit the driving range. had to do some practice before tomorrow's golf game. look, its so fucked up. feeling so screwed up inside and i still have to go out there and prepare myself for another set of competitions. after one setback, i have to stand up immediately and continue fighting. i know i have to be strong.
home at 9.30pm. now just doing some blogging, before going to bath and repair all my injuries. deep heat lotion, massage, english bandage, chinese bandage, ice packs. how screwed up am i. God heal me.
Chinese New Year is different this year for me. i went to Genting Highlands, and had fun. the theme park made me feel good, i will go there again when i have the chance. good to know that some people still love me although not seeing each other for a long time. good to have the chance to catch up with some people. and i had the chance to drive the car. dam it was a great chance for me. i always wanted to drive the real car, so when we got to quiet roads of Malaysia, i begged my mum to let me hit the accelerator. so now i can drive an auto car, its pretty easy though.
school have been very busy. with so much tests around every week, its stressing me up at times. but when i do well, it gives me a great sense of satisfaction. sense of satisfaction is important to me, i realised that i've been going for an extra mile and having more commitments compared to others, just because of one goal and reason. --- My Sense of Satisfaction. ---
so i have been juggling with time a lot recently. hopefully i can settle down very soon, because O levels is not very far away actually! approximately 7months left, after two months of holidays and weekends, its going to been really quick.
i hope God is there.
i hope You can see everything around.
and please please please make things better.
i hope you can Save everything.
posted by julian low at 9:59 PM
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