The Right Way.

please please please please please get well soon jumbo! this whole thing is such a shocker, no one expected you to go through this. i hope you dont feel bad, not at all. because you didn't want any of this to happen. all you have to think about now is to recover, and we all really hope to see you soon! 

seriously, it wasn't anything much but it set me thinking. it was just a show of affection, care and love, but i couldn't take any of it. i was just envious, so envious of being loved so hard by someone. to know surely, that she'll be there even through the darkest days. even without your presence, the only person and thing she thinks about is you. and when you're down, you're the only thing that mattered. really, i'm envious of you, and i feel good for you. i really really feel happy for you. :) 

here comes the joke of the day. tagawa ended around 10.45pm last night and i did the best i could to get to the MRT without slacking around. the whole point was to get home as early as i can to catch as much sleep as i can for this morning's training. in fact, i chose sleep over dinner. i didn't know what i was thinking, but i boarded the first freaking train that hit redhill. my ipod was on the low, i started reading when i boarded. when my ipod died, i heard this, 'next station, Chinese Garden'. i didn't know how to react, i wanted to curse and swear, i wanted to laugh out loud. i wanted to make a dig at myself, but its myself after all. i ended up taking the train at chinese garden at 11.30, only to get home at 12.30. this is so dumb because i dont get dinner, i dont get the extra sleep i wanted. HAHA, okay well done Superman. 

training is tough, and its hard to get by with the sun smiling so hard at you. but i dont know why, i enjoy it. maybe it's because i know time is short, and everything will be gone in a flash. maybe i was just trying to cherish whatever time i have left to commit. i dont know, but i just dont want any of this to end. it feels like my life, it feels like life is going to end. if it ends, i would get by, and get a new life, hopefully. 

school is a hell of a bore. i mean how much would you enjoy school if going to lectures and tutorials and it's all stuff you dont know, cause you're way behind time. so i rather enjoy spending my own sweet time in the library, ogling, enjoying music and the aircon. but at least, i get some work done! 

cant imagine how the next week would past, with some many shitz coming ahead! seriously, i am trying real hard to go the right way. not sure whats right, but i guess following what you believe would be the best option. 

i realized it has been my problem. it was just getting around at the beginning. then when i get to the edge, i dont have the courage to jump, to commit. i was afraid of the same thing, all along. 

the truth is, i have always been sexually attracted to you. 

tell me how, tell me why.

Melody! School this term has been a total mess. its not like i want it to be like that, i mean who hopes for a mess, right? golf and basketball is a crazy mix, because it doesn't complement each other. well done julian, you should have realized this when you started a million years ago. but... i am proud to say that i have been trying to copy my lecture notes and putting effort to borrow the top students' notes to copy. teehee, what an evil plan... 

Chernise! Favorite junior but has been infected with the deadly ASHES virus. i guess its probably all over her, so everyone BEWARE! and to all my juniors, please start believing me, i dont always lie. especially when its about ping-pong competitions. Cher, i think more gay-ness to come (Y)
CB Chng! HAHA! i cant stand this freaking mp3! can you see it?! its a freaking mp3! i dont know who the hell invented this crap, but i think its one hell of a joke! anyway, its not CB's, its joab's. and, CB just had his birthday recently, so happy belated! dont say dont have hor, and better shine some luck on us, we'll strike on singapore pools! 
Xu! clap! Xu Xu! clap clap! Xu Xu Xu~! clap clap clap! this the best dancer i have ever seen! his waves would totally melt girls! XuXu is such a quiet guy, that i never expected we could share so much until this year. still, its a friendship that means to me. XuXu, we have many common interest (you know what i mean, dont grin xD), and we hate the same people. (hint:WANG!)

lets do good for A'Div!

Huiwen! the guy who never fails to stand by me! remember we were still dreaming about playing together in VJ, then dreamt about playing together in adidas? like many dreams and aspirations we had, we kind of fulfilled some of them already, isn't it satisfactory? bro, everything's satisfactory with you! you know the truth is most important and you never conceal anything from me (although the truth hurts, MOST of the time). just want to say i love you, and lets rock the second round! remember our DREAM! 

ESG+lil Black Boy has been one hell of a fun the past month! the effort we put in, i really really hope it pays off. at least we came up with something substantial and i'm freaking proud of it! and, i really really hope SS gets approved and make our boyband dream come alive! you guys, forever in my heart! 

golf is over and now its only left with basketball! but it doesn't really mean things have slowed down, cause second round's a killer and we only need more commitment now. going to start going to tagawa's training soon, hopefully it'll be another fun i'll be getting.

feeling a lot of muscle aches from gym and training, hopefully i'll only get stronger after recovering. all the way for VJ! my last season! (i hope?) 

CT1 has been a so-so thing. haven't done well but i improved! at least i got my first D! are you freaking proud of me! well CT2 should be a killer because of a much messed up term 2. but i'll persevere through, and make it! 

i seriously hope things go smoothly for the rest of the year. or at least, more smoothly. 

been thinking a lot, and i was just trying to do something best for you, for me.