Plastic Cups.

Jobel : to dream that you are making out with someone you don't like in that way, suggests that you need to acknowledge and incorporate aspects of this person into your own character. Consider specific traits that this person possess. To dream that you're making out with a friend suggests that you've an unconscious desire to pursue the relationship but fear that it'll jeopardize the friendship.

This is a big HAHA! omg, when i received this text i was like wth jobel, you and your warped reasoning. i really don't know what kinda sources she have! haha!

Driving today dam stressed. Basket, the guy don't whether trying to help me or destroy me. Give me attitude when i enter the car then like look down on me cause i more zai then others need less lessons to reach this phase, then like want to test me and make sure i suck. okay, i very haolian say i zai but i never say i sure pass my test also la. actually i very paranoid about the test, i really think its heng/suay one. anyway, this dam guy took like 60mins to open up to me and become friendly (that's after he found out that i'm a nice boy :D), then such a small world he tell me he is VJ maths hod and dunman high principal best friend. i really want to tell him i don't care because i don't even know who our maths hod is and i know nuts about dunman high right. but he went on and even told me yang shiling is his niece and i was okay, she's my classmate for 2 years. okay, lets not talk about her. next...

I feel like a cockroach already la, like my CT said. only can study at night, day time like so lethargic! probably its the messed up body clock again, more unwinding to do... and it's going to be worst because yap jinxin coming my house now to disturb me, at this freaking hour! okay, never mind i'm going to be a good influence and make jinxin study. but jinxin is another sweetie la, so nice ask me whether need a ride home from Expo. so sweet right? the intention is there makuku, but... i still don't want to give you my virgin pillion ride! haha! you are so unsafe!

Gym today with Djie. make me wait one hour then come and ask me chiong bench press with you obviously i will die right. anyway this guy dam sick, 10set, 10 reps of bench, his tits confirm bigger than mine la. but never mind, i know i will win him one day. sex handle here i come!

Gary is such a sweet boyfriend, almost everyday spend time with hd. they LDR but can still maintain so well, i'm so envious! but it shouldn't even be a surprise, who doesn't know how nice Mr. Tang is!

Muscle ache now leh, should i go for a run? i scared later i over-exert. but i feel like i need to sweat out again. later flip-coin and decide la.

I hate this kinda feeling, i hate it when i have to wait for nothing. but i cannot do anything!

The more i know things associated with you, the more i shun away from you. i'm not normal, you should know that. the big events go by without me, followed by the small ones. and then i will vanish. or i already did.

Guys! i really miss every single one of you. i wish we can play basketball together again, have lunch, feast at katong laksa, at sakae, at seoul, at bedok interchange, at marine parade, at bugis steamboat and anywhere we actually eat together. fuck, now it seem so hard to even get everyone together. so much for brotherhood forever, next time got wife, got children, got mistresses how to meet all together. confirm dam hard one lor, you all just make me sad. hopefully you all are studying hard, and i really miss miss miss every single one of you!

I'm a miracle baby! every single time my mother talk about how i was born, what i do when i was a young boy, and every single thing about me, i would always listen attentively. even though she told her friends and i a million times, i still am very interested! i really can't believe it, 6months 3weeks you are born and you want to eat french fries when you don't even have a teeth out yet. waa lao, i think i really dam cute when i was a young boy. if i'm an adult and see myself as a young boy confirm love him to bits. and my mum is right, everything i also a step ahead. don't believe? you see anyone around with such a thick mustache around? no one keeps it except me! simply because... i love it!

Jinxin coming over leh, i better bathe if not he say i smelly boy. aight, night folks. hope the studying has been good!

Don't tell me about you, i'm really not interested.

Mixed.

Such a long time since i last post! actually i didn't realize how long it was until i looked at the date of the previous. but i guess its good, because people will stop coming to read. and when there's less people reading, i can be a little more transparent.

Pool is the thing now. no studying today and i don't feel anything bad about it, i'm sorry. i think i deserve a WHOLE day of pool after working harder than i've ever had for the past 2 weeks or so. today was with zhai, aby, black, lum and ron. dam fun as usual, and i really can't believe it zhai, second round baby! other than fun, i'm glad everyone's improving. and aby, you really dam suay, so fast cue stick bend. hopefully you can unbend it!

Youth Flying Club today, and i fucking lucky, i should count my lucky stars. nbccb, i go into the interview without being prepared for any shit. i don't even know how serious it was, until i got into the meeting room. cb, ask me what you like about the plane and blah blah. wtf actually can predict these questions but really, i can't answer them! and the worst of all, i told them i prefer to be in commercial. they wanted to get me out of the room already, but you know i'm good at impromptu kinda stuff right? so i still managed to salvage the whole thing, and got accepted for medical tomorrow! so much for my smartness, i still think i cannot make it cause i dam gay i pes c, when they find out i hide from them i die. well... i'm actually considering to up my pes, am i nuts!

You really dam disappointing. i don't know what you're trying to do, i really don't. you trying to be funny? i thought you knew me best, really. but why you like to prove me wrong? i really want to tell everyone, or rather i already told so many, but you made me eat my words. i really don't like the way you handled matters at such circumstances, i really want to tell you off. but i realized i don't have to, you should think about it yourself. well, you always want to.

Let's count the number of days a week i spent at Expo now, i think its ridiculously at least 4-5 times a week. other than the nice environment, if you get what i mean. huiwen and gary confirm know la, you all want to ask them why? ask lor, they surely wont tell you also. see, i trust my brothers.

Why is everyone abandoning their blogs now? seriously, like seriously, blogger actually distracts you from studying so much so?! if blogging is so tempting, i really don't know what to say. maybe like... please get a life, because in life they are so much better things! haha, try pool if you can!

I think VJC is good school. i love it because people really play hard, study hard. we are people with a right balance. except for some nerds really, who study all day long. if you don't get your 4As, i really pity and sympathize with you. you're missing out the good in life!

Tell me tell me, who can not think about what's going to happen after the A's. its so unimaginable, it will be so unbelievable. i really scared i go bonkers when 3rd December comes along. come to think about it, its not really that long later. so fellas, let's put in some hard work and do the fucking best we can. i don't have any aim. partly because i don't want to be too disappointed when the results come back, partly because i don't know what i deserve. so really, i can only stick it there and really try my best. i know i deserve better after all. even if i don't, i must get away saying that hey boy, no worries, you've put in your best.

Sometimes i feel like i live in a world when i'm the only one. lucky for me, i don't feel sad or wrong about it. in fact, i like the idea and i enjoy doing things on my own. and i'm an orphan, who wants to adopt me? i live with bambi and my maid, take us in together. no no, rather, who wants to move in and live with me?

So happy to see kai today! fucking going taiwan tomorrow for some shit ns trip, hope he don't die there. come to think of it, i also want to go. even if its going to be physically draining, i'm up for it. i feel not right being in pes c. and wtf, you know girls are disappointed in me when they find out i'm in pes c. and when guys hear about it, they are full of envy. i don't know which side is living in denial.

I miss days like this, when i do things that i enjoy doing. and i spend my time with people i think deserve it and we have fun together. i really hate having to wake up every single day and you know the only thing you can do is to study. even if you do study hard, you are not guaranteed anything. what if the examiner just hates my handwriting and just decided to fail me and burn my script while marking on his rocking chair, under the chimney in a cool nice winter. okay sorry, i know i'm really very imaginative. but i'm serious! what if... you know never know. you just got to keep convincing yourself that whatever effort you're putting in is going to pay off. you just got to keep going, you just got to keep walking. its no fun, its no enjoyable, and i salute everyone taking this path! we are brave people. (Y)

The cake, the show, the bread, the sandwich, the snap, the esp, the serve, the cubaice, the flatsour, the drawings, the wink, the annoy, the pimp, the lookaway, the name, the alf, the walk, the handbehind, the baba, the fairs, the reluctance, the blush, the thought, the smellgood, the funny, the popcorn, the cupcake, the what's more that's coming, i think i miss you.

Time in jc is really short. i know i will regret if i don't make things well. but i don't know why things just don't seem right. nothing seems right and i can chose neither. so i leave and wither. very cowardly, but i think you're starting to enjoy. and if i ever saw any of this coming, i make sure this never started.

So much movies to catch now! i really want to watch where got ghost and laugh my ass out. and final destination. if i watch right, am i wasting time not studying? feels like it, but i'm not me if i don't chose to enjoy my life. so just myself la, easier.

By the way folks, post prom is cancelled. jobel cancelled it cause all you people sucks. all give stupid replies like wait ah, i see whether my friend going not. or another classic is, to act blur and say see first. and then like act no money, say cannot pay up cause prom very expensive. fuck you la, now till As how long, one day save $1 cannot? besides, you study so hard everyday, one bus ride less and you can save half the amount you need a day. and those that very dam enthusiastic about this party, thumbs up for you. but sorry, jobel have to disappoint. don't blame her la, she very power one person try to manage this whole thing, its only natural to call it off when there's lukewarm response. so now i guess, we need to make plans for our own post-prom!

Oh can i just say how sweet huiwen is, he is such a sweetie. he really want to go home and study because he hates staying back in school to study, BUT he chose to stay back and help me with vectors when i asked for help. for 2 fucking days! and i really suck at vectors, i was afraid he might just smack me in the head and ask me to get a life, but he was so sweet and patient he taught me from the basics. no doubt there was vulgarities hurling, not surprising given how annoying it is to teach me. and the best thing is, i think he's a dam good teacher. next time can be like Mr. Ng, and give mass tuition and help the masses and be a rich man. nonetheless, i think you'll get a fucking high paying job next time. but i know you well enough, you rather earn less but help people! eh wait, i realized you're already a Mr. Ng! nice!

You know every time i walk past the koi pond and i see the fishes dead, i will be very sad. i don't know what they die, but i hope its not people who purpose poison the water and kill them. if its really people who did it on purpose, i hope you get the same retribution. you eat your indian pattaya rice and the indian aunty put rat poison for you.

I tried to be normal but i can't. i really can't. i really can't accept it. i can't convince myself enough, i can't put myself in your shoes and understand. i really see no point in all this. and i even feel that its my fault that things would end up this way. i feel that its just dumb. i think you're just a desperate child. for fuck's sake, you don't have to do this. i don't want to think about what you want to gain from all these, it really disgusts me. and for your information, its not just me.

If you have any spare money and you don't know how to spend it, get the new shuffle! omg, its the best thing right now, can't express how much i love it!

Aight man, imma go sleep. fuck, need to wake up in approx. 5hours. hopefully i pass my medical, and i pray oh pray to any God, probably Allah cause now Ramadan and i think he's most powerful now, that tomorrow got no dam blood test! this is sending chills down my spine.

Goodnight everyone! wondergurl, i know you are reading this. i didn't break my promise. can trust me another time. and maybe, you can just find your zen here. :)