you pushed it.

right before my eyes, disgusting it was.

never talked to you about it, lest you think i suck.

just want to let you know that i can actually see it all, that i'm not oblivious to anything.

well, just like to reassure you after all that i've not changed a bit.

but if it really is so tough, then i suggest you to walk.

then i'll not see a glimmer and be shattered again..
you pierce my heart.

Salsa me.

Art's day was really fun! though salsa wasn't my first choice, but i did not regret being in there! it was really fun learning something that i never ever thought i would sign up for. and... those that chose salsa are those that enters the class and say, I DONT KNOW, HECK, I'M JUST HERE TO HAVE FUN! haha.
first we learn the individual steps thing, and its called shines or something.. i'm just spelling it out the way they pronounced it. lol. then we did a little of the couple pair thing, sad to say, i dont see my eye-candy and no HOT girls around! hahaha.
back to the story, the couple thing was kinda exciting. and you get to change partners like freaking 10times. sooo... i've made more friends. (girls xD) anyway it was really disgusting when i got this partner who has a moist armpit. like wtf! cause i had to put my hands on the back of her left shoulder blades, and she has to rest her elbows on mine, and wtf i could feel the moisture! you'll only get it if you can visualise the partner thing.

wanted to go for hip-hop right after salsa, but seeing so many dance people in there, i thought it was (N) bad choice. INFERIORITY COMPLEX. so i didn't join, which i kinda regretted ultimately.
beat box was freaking sick, it was something i wanted to learn. but always ended up being too lazy and shy. that indian guy from our school was really good i thought!

then, the whole invasion thing was really cool. too bad it ended like after each band only played 3 songs. WEST GRAND and CARACAL (Y) ben got dragged into the body surfing thing, and poor thing! it didn't last long before some unsporty guy dropped him! hahaha! maybe it was a blessing in disguise, cause not long later, MR. ONE BALL was staring from the top.
oh ya, i forgot to mention. JULYNN WENT MAD THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DAM PERFORMANCE THING.

now i'm kinda turn off to MJ. cause my luck was really bad that day when i lost all my chips at amelia's place. so afraid to lost more, i didn't dare to go for round 2 at night. haha! GRACE YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY, and thanks for the taxi ride! haha!

then i met classmates at T3 on friday night to see raycher off. it was quite fun meeting my new classmates, and for the fact that its my first time. GOODLUCK FOR YOUR COMPETITION AND HAVE A SAFE TRIP CHIA, I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR BEST FRIEND. HAH!

bball trianing on sat was quite satisfying. the whole dam interval made me stronger, and thanks to the guys that really pushed me. without your encouragements, i would never made it with you all.
BILLUPS came and it felt fucking good! woohooo. hahahha. at least... its the right size this time.

i had fabulous dinners last night and this evening. i had my favourite jap food at my fav place last night, and tried foo house, down the road from anglican high. realised that i wouldn't mind spending my money on good food. its like a no-brainer, compared to buying other stuff, like clothes Zzz. and also i realised that having a good meal makes me feel better. ahhaha, like eating something you really like, cheers you up. soo.. to anyone who feels like shit now, may try pampering yourself on something you really like. it doesn't make a difference even if its macdonald's! haha.
oh ya, i past this street called CUMMING STREET on my way to mohd sultan for jap food. i was like WTF! this street is so fucking cool. haha!
big eater next to foo house's my next craving!

now i'm back home, and i thinking about studying. but how to!!! when there's ARSENAL vs CHELSEA, MANU vs LIVERPOOL. and... there're people online, which i'm so tempted to drag them into VIWAWA!! doubt i'm getting any work done tonight (N). argh... why must tonight be so exciting...

Ranking game on tues and wed, something to look forward to. hoping to play decent rounds of golf. also looking forward to ICC GRACE! and tuesday's 85 with huiwen, grace and others. yeah!

its really weird when people tell me what great dad and mum i have, while on the other hand, they both tell me how much each suck, with knifes pointed at each other's throat. i guess the world's fair, while i enjoy what some other's cant, i have to endure with all these nonsense.

GOD BLESS THAT ARSENAL KICKS THE HELLLLL OUT OF CHELSEA'S ASS AT STAMFORD BRIDGE!

and.... THAT TIGER WINS THE WGC-CA EVENT! ALL THE WAY TIGER!

foresight.

i would rather not go and find out anything. as usual, its the same outcome. maybe you might hate me, hate me for whatever i chose to do. but then again, look at yourself. if you think that i suck that much, then you're probably not any less. well, at least i know its not how much it happens on reality.

to some extent, its the right decision i made. and its going to be like this oneday. i saw it long ago, and its just revealing before me now. though it may hurt, but as long as you're fine, i wouldn't mind. as much as i want to do something, i cant. my hands are tied, my heart is cold.

you may go ahead, but really, never talk to me again.

Side-Track.

Youth Golf Challenge was a disappointment. didn't finish top 5, which was my expectation. wishful thinking, do i even deserve on finishing top 5? i dont think so. no practice, no shit and what on earth am i still expecting. sometimes i really wish i had all the time to practice, and play well. satisfaction level = maximum. oh well, now its over, and really no point brooding over it. though it really hurts inside, i'm sure i'll get over it by the time i have a good round again.
Ranking Game coming up again next week. well, just hope to play a decent round of golf. and... to use or not to use kenji's putter? hahaha, i find it hard to give up on my Scotty! well, after i try the Bertinadi's.....

Yesterday was quite a bad day. first, common test sucked, and i'm failing the maths test for sure. i hate failing and i'm surely going to try harder the next time round. i realised something from this test, and its whether i really belong to VJ. i'm like cracking my brains, perspiring in the air-con room trying to pass, and i see people smiling at me telling me its a easy paper. i feel so depressed inside, and i ask myself whether i really deserve to be here, and whether i'll be happier somewhere else.
Training wasn't too good either. the seniors came down to have friendly, and no doubt we had fun. but at the end of the session, i realised that we're not that good. friendly with AJ on thursday, something to look forward to, and i'm sure we'll get our game back in someway or another.

Anyway, its not like i'm giving up or anything. I WILL PERSERVERE AND PUSH MYSELF TO THE LIMITS (okay, maybe i'm at my limits already)!!!

I passed my Econs progess test!! wooohooo, like 9 out of 20, and i'm like the better half of the class. hahaha. gym today was kinda slack, and we end up playing ball with ms tan. haha. had a good time laughing, and felt better. went home with Huiwen as usual and got home before 9pm to watch my TV!

Tomorrow's Art's Day, SALSA HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

something to look forward to, crashing huiwen's JTS, my Billups and class outing (like movie in the morning? lol)

its something i always look forward to, but at the end of the day, i realised that it means nothing to you.

i really wonder, whether i'll live years shorter if i go on like this.

Dicey.

something to look forward to!
-tie day
-training camp
-youth golf challenge
-gilZero
-my new shaver! haha
-MAHJONG AND MORE MAHJONG!!!!!

something not to look forward to!
-finishing up my holiday assignments
-maths CT!

Flaccid.

Friendly against NYJC was quite good. though i played really badly, but i think as a team we played alright. there's really a lot for us to improve and i'm sure we will polish up during the training camp. PG isn't that easy to handle, i think i really need some serious training. 3's are off somehow, but i know i will find it back soon. i'm sure something better is waiting for me...
Wanxin our man went to hospital before the first quarter end, but we still won it for you! cant wait to play the next friendly with you around. anyway, take lots and lots of care, cause WE LOVE YOU! (Y)

The past weekend kinda suck badly, i spent most of my time staying home rotting away. though my intention was to stay home and rest, i kinda screw things up real badly. i was supposed to revise and finish up some work, but i end up lazing around all day without getting much done.
Went for physio on Sunday morning and i'm glad to meet oka again! hahaa. cause we never fail to go for a good feast after physio. 5-STAR 5-STAR! haha.

This week is supposed to be a breeze!!!!! (cause holidays are starting next week) but wth, the tests are all scheduled this week for my class. i had chem, chinese and econs test today. and i'm like going to fail chem and econs for sure. fuck, i hate the feeling of failing for sure. fuck it.
Anyway, this friday is supposed to be FULL-DAY! but no one can confirm. my mind's set on the full-day already, i think i have no mood to study on friday if full-day's going to be cancelled. lol.

Homework for the holidays are stacking up! i better start to clear some, if not i wont be able to finish in time!

Congrats to Boys and Girls team for winning the champions! went back to AHS and only managed to catch the last 5mins of the guy's match. though i only watch 5mins of it, i have a feeling they played really well. soaking into the atmosphere in the stadium was really good, i can feel the Anglican spirit. something that i miss quite badly!

Went pastamania with the guys, and finally got a chance to catch up again! we'll meet for MJ soon i promise! haha, so sorry i have to ps today....

its been a long time since i could come home so early, usually it'll be 10plus when i get home. now i feel like i have a lot of time! thats why i'm blogging now. anyway, going to start with my work soon, and i'm going to sleep early tonight! long day tomorrow.......

it feels weird not to have you by my side to start my week.. but again, i feel so punctured inside.