last day of school.

finally its the last day of school. during the exam period, i just keep looking towards the start of the holiday. even after the exams, i still look forward. plainly because its boring in school, i feel like doing things that i couldn't do during school days. but when its really the last day, i kind of want this day to be long. i dont want it end. i just dont feel like finishing school knowing that i cant meet up with certain friends. other than that, i know its going to be another tough period of me and louisa. every holiday have been like that, we will seem to quarrel more, or more problems will just come. i just feel that its because we cant see each other. not that i cant sacrifice anything to meet u, but its u that cant meet me even downstairs or appreciate all i try to meet up, instead taking it for granted over and over again. my effort never seem most appreciated. my effort always seem to be making myself worst. i have to turn into forcing u to meet me. end up quarreling or anything we can find.

that day after school, i went to town with louisa first. we went to change the sizing of this shirt she gave me. we actually wanted to watch x-men. but i was hesistating because i was going to watcso h the show with my friends at night. well, she was understanding and told me its okay. we'll watch other shows another time. after we got the shirt done, we went to look for a place to have lunch. i end up deciding, we went to pepper lunch. i guess we had most fun there. after that, whatever that happen, i dont wish to blog about it.

at around 6, i see louisa home before heading down to meet my friends. when i got to town, i met leon, zhengyi, andy and weiyang. soon later leeyang, jovan and chunyong came down. we watch x-men. i think the shows not bad. i know its brief, but its still enjoyable. so end up relating the show so much with dota. that part was fun. haha. after that we went down to bedok, played pool and then only me, chunyong and zhengyi could stay late. so after pool, we went to inter-change for supper. we caught the last bus of 9 at 12.02am. then all got home. that day was fun.

i met chunyong and andrea last night for pool. at around 8.40 me and chunyong met at bedok and then andrea came about 9plus. we had fun playing while i got some killing spree playing. lol. started the laughings when i played with andrea. haha. then we 3 started laughing like idiots. laugh laugh and laugh non-stop until i forgot to take my ez-link card from the uncle when i return the balls and for payment. nevermind, oneday i'll go down again to take it.

after that, we head down to simpang bedok for supper again. had satay, roti-johns and pratas. zhiying came down also to join us. that was nice of her to come down despite it was already 10plus. so we had fun eating and talking together. then after that me and chunyong took 9 home while the girls walk home together. thank you chunyong for the past many many days where u came down to play pool and have fun with me. hopefully there'll be many more of these to come.

the 3 of us to go out more often like last time? i thought it was possible. but when u talk about it, i just dont feel like the past. when i get excited and all about going out together. now its just different. things are not the same between us. u dont trust me as much, u dont look at me the same way. we'll just endup quarreling if we go out i guess. things are just different now.

i'm tired about carrying on with all these draggy quarrelings. i dont see why we're quarreling so bad. two person who loves each other so much and end up quarreling so bad till saying i hate you to each other? possible?? what should i say here? realise that everytime i blog about us here, its not about how happy we spent time together. instead, how we quarreled and why we quarreled. so can u just talk normally and end all this quick.

off to malaysia this monday for golf tournament and inter-school on wednesday. hopefully i'll do well. i've been working hard with myself, i hope that my work will pay off.

the past few days.

19th may. 3F had their first BBQ. some people felt that it was really fun and successful, some also felt otherwise. i felt otherwise. not to say that it was not fun and was a failure, but i just felt different this time. i'm not sure why is it like that. maybe because of the new people, or adults around, or a different pit or people changed. many reasons there can be. it was different but still a memorable one to me. they celebrated my birthday there, with shanmin. mine was on 23rd may and shanmin 21st. andrea bought two cakes, and that was sweet of her. thanks huh!! i think we should not hold any more BBQs. i think its better to POT LUCK. i guess food will be better. and nobody would free-load anything.

23rd may. my birthday. i also felt different this year. i dont know why. i'm not sure about how i'm going to spend my day. i wasn't sure about planning it. i dont know who to spend it with. i dont know my priority. i know i disappointed my family. i know they were upset that i reject to have dinner. but i did not regret spending time with her. so.. i think my birthday this year, i did bad.

bad day today. i'm going to hate CCP forever. dont ask me why. i dont feel like telling the whole story again and again. i'll just get angry everytime i speak of him. training this afternoon. phototaking was cancelled. so i regretted coming to school today. training was not bad. played well with huiwen and rocket for 3 on 2 and 3 on 3. at least we ran properly and finished well. tried to push my physical today again. not up to what i expected but i guess its because of my aching thighs. have been training and running the past few days without resting. so i'll recover tomorrow, saturday and sunday. weiyang not happy with me playing with power forward. nvm. we'll talk it out and see how thing goes. i believe it can be better. nevertheless, i still love to play power forward. i will still try.

religion is not a problem among us friends. i think we should just sit and talk calmly to clear all this misunderstandings. i'm sure everyone appreciates everyone.

louisa waited again for my training to end!! that was sweet. it's the second time already. dam i feel bad when i see u waiting. it was nice this time. we'll be like that. much love :)

tea chapter

arsenal lost to barcelona!!!!!!! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( this is like the sadest thing that happened to me this week. good goal from sol campbell at 37' min with 10men remaining on the gunner's side. i thought they would take the champion's league trophy with 1-0. barca's eto'o then scored at 76' min with was a 50-50 offside goal. second goal of barca was scored by beneletti, a subsitute for a defender to play more attack. lousy defending from goal keeper alumnia for both barca's goals after having to sub robert pires when ians lehman gets the red card.

whatever this dramatic football match final is, the best thing is that leon and chester came over and we watched this together. it was quite a good time to spend with each other after the exams. we didn't got enough sleep so the next day was lethargic.

next day, we when to a place called tea chapter. i find it boring at first, but great later. we entered this shop, which is like a 3-storey house. then first was to take off our shoes. then proceed to this room where 8 people sit together around a table. on the table, there is whatever is needed in brewing tea, dumplings and tea egg. the manager came and talk talk talk about some chinese shit la. i wasn't really listening. me and chunyong almost fell asleep i know. then soon after he left and another guy came to teach us how to wrap the dumpling and brew tea. after that, he left us and we had our own time. then the fun came. anyway, weiyang, leeyang, huiwen, chunyong, leon, jovan, andy and me sat together. looking at the names, definitely we had hell of a good time when no one controls us. hahah. everyone started talking cock, laughing at each other and playing making tea. at the midst of all this, we were eating the tea egg, dumpings and tea. the place was air-con and clean, so we felt very comfortable. we were actually allowed to stay there for about one and a half hour. after having so much fun, me and leon fell alseep next to each other. most probably because of the football match we stayed up to watch that morning.

everyone in the team was tired and aching in the thighs and calfs from tuesday's training. however, when school ended, everyone still excitedly rush down to the stadium for training. hopefully this enthusiasm never dies for our team. got down and coach told us that we're doing gym. WE WERE DISPPOINTED. becuase the dam reason we were forced to the green chamber was because a team of maha bodhi basketball team which is 4years younger than us are coming. we felt that it was BULLSHIT. hahaha. anyway we didn't seriously do gym. whenever there's a chance, we rush out and play matches. so it was still fun. i realised i actually enjoys playing power forward.

louisa waited for my training to end and then we went home together. thank you my dear.

i dont know why but i'm thinking bout certain things recently. andrea made me realized something. anway, its true, i feel better with other people. i dont have to do my best and they dont appreciate it. anyway its not the same anyway, since last time i guess. dont u agree with me?? i wont tell u. i dont want to fight this again. u just realise and that'll do.

results.

got back most of my results already. left with emath, core history, english and part of chinese. L1R5 i was aiming to hit single-digit. i wanted to get all A1's for my R5. anyway i kinda choose which subject to focus more before the exams. my R5 will be Chemistry, Biology, Amath, Emath and Core History. both of chemistry (79/100) and biology ( 75/100) reached my expectations. i expected worst for Amath, i thought i couldn't get a A. but i got 63/80 in the end, which was like 78% i think. but sadly, because of my poor CA results. Amath got pulled down to a A2. which means i didn't got my final goal for this exam. left with Emath and Core History to come back. hopefully they wont disappoint me. maybe Emath is gone. i dont think i'll do well. the others i got back were Chinese (73/110), social studies (25/36) and elective geog (19/35). i dont expect high grades for these subjects. not because i dont study them but just less detailed. i'm overall quite pleased with them anyway.

had training after school. finally our batch came together to have a good training. good to see chunyong, leonard and bryan joining us back. but it was quite disppointing when we heard that the sec2's and 1's are joining us. we had a good time playing together. talked to coach personally and found out that my real problem is actually fitness. i can create, play and finish but usually i dont have enough fitness to endure long. so i guess june holidays, i will push myself.

but first, i need to get ready for golf tournaments. big one coming up this 30th may. inter-school golf. top my division for two years already, this year is different and tough. while most are practising hard to win this year, i spent more time playing basketball, studying and going out with my friends. i dont say that i make wrong decisions but i just cant be as comitted as the others are.

lets not eat hokkien mee anymore. hahahaha. hopefully u're feeling better now. and i miss you.

just one more to go.

okay. just left with the last paper tomorrow. tomorrow's emaths. this mid-year. i shouldn't say that its very well-done. neither can i say that i'll do badly. its just a different feeling. days before some papers, such as history and biology, i was feeling okay. i dont get panick before the paper. every major exam in the past, i tend to panick, look for help and study only on the very last day. now, its different. i feel more confident, i know i'm on task.

papers like history, many panick before the paper. stare and try to memorise every single word on the book. many might think that history is boring, its tough, too much to memorise before the exams. but i feel different about it. i take this subject interesting. i dont get bored reading the textbook. i take this subject about learning about the past. it is interesting. its good to know how people have their life-styles back then. i love war. thats why i choose history. but that doesn't mean i want war to happen.

left with the last paper and i cant wait for it to be over. many things to be done after exams. i feel good helping others. i feel good helping my friends before their exams. some look for my help, this shows they trust me. hopefully i really did helped them and hope they'll score well. its sucha sense of satisfaction.

i cant wait to come back to school after marking days. i cant wait to get my results back. after every paper, i felt okay. i didn't felt like any paper was going to put me down. i just felt great and i'm just going to stride past the next paper. though not every subject's going to be like A1, but i am still confident in myself. i hate i hate i hate being over-confident. so i'm not being over-confident here. being over-confident just hurt oneself in the end. i've been over-confident before. be it after a golf tournament, be it in a basketball match, be it in exams and also decisions in life. being over-confident just makes u regretful in the end if u do badly. u'll be shocked, doubtful of your abilities and makes your mind go runnning. so it doesn't help at all.

went out with lady-bird reader yesterday. it was a fun day. at least i feel that we didn't waste any of our time. we just spent every minute doing things we enjoy and love. most importantly, had fun. :) had lunch at sakae, woo hoo, i didn't expect the bill to burst up to 46bucks ++. but i have to admit we really ordered and ate a lot. I STOPPED EATING FIRST!! can u believe it? hahaha. having lunch that day was one of the best thing of the week. then went to tampines at evening. no class so we went grocery shopping. haha. sorry i spoilt the mood. i was really tired. but still i tried to hang on. AND thanks for walking me to the bus-stop. :):)

DO WELL FOR THE EXAMS FOR ALL THE WORK- HARDS!!

it happens on everyone. i thought that word was important and sincere at first. i later found out that its not. it just makes me feel that u're loose. i'm starting to change my mind on you.

nearing the exams.

just got back from school. its just competitive. looking at how hard everyone tries to study before exams, makes me worry sometimes. i always have to ask myself questions, whether i've known enough for that subject. sometimes i feel that i'm too cautious with all this. maybe others are over-reacting. maybe it isn't that tough after all. its just how u take it. maybe some just dont listen in class, causing themselves to panic at this moment.

i feel quite in control of my revision. i guess i'm going to skip tuition at andy's place and study out myself. which i think its better. i'll learn more. the tuition is just, slack i should say. thursday's amaths then social studies. amaths depends on my luck, but i still must get A1. social studies, not expecting much as i dont hold hopes for my elective geog. so, social studies, just dont do too badly.

i know we're better now. i can feel it. maybe u dont cause u're not putting in as much effort. but anyway, i know i'm becoming a thing more reasonable to you. i hope i am better. well, it really hurt. a lot.

lucks to all those taking exams. and hopefully those who really perservered and work hard do well.

oh, andrea. we'll get things done after the exams. in the mean time, you can rest your mind and just concentrate on studying. i know results means a lot to you.