Rupture.

Prelims are over! are you people glad and relieved? or are you all getting more afraid, because the o's are just getting closer?

its both ways for me. i'm really glad that the prelims are over. because i was feeling stressed up because of the prelims, i couldn't sleep well, eat well and my mind's just twirling around. i was also nervous, because i realise i couldn't get down to work and revise for my prelims. i knew i was side-tracking. side-tracking from the hardworking and focused Julian in the beginning of 2006. i got carried away with the plans i had for myself initially.
now when the prelims are over, i finally have some goodnight's sleep back.
to be honest, i only managed to get myself to study 3days before the prelims when i was really afraid that i wouldn't have enough time to finish revising.

on the other side, i'm also afraid. everyday's a countdown, countdown to something we've all been waiting for these 4years. we did so much, all just because of this national exam. i really dont want to look back and regret. i screwed up badly for my prelims, and i'm discouraged. i really feel lousy about myself. i felt like giving up many times when i looked at my grade. i couldn't believe that i deserved that lousy grade. i felt shortchanged. i wish i could express myself better than this, and not being so pathetic about everything here.

but i really want to thank certain people around me, whom has encouraged me and showed me that its not yet to give anything up. Louisa, ChunYong, HuiWen, WeeHoe, Tracy and YingYing.
i just want to thank you all sincerely, because you all definitely made these few days better than it is.
everyone's just counting down to the o's. everyone only has this in mind. everyone seemed to forgot that its the one last month together. and after which, most would go seperate ways, and i hate to say this, but many are going to disappear from my life. this is sad.

i see many friends in class upset, feeling lousy about themselves. i read blogs, expressing their unhappiness with their results. to all these people, i just want hope that you all wont give up that easily, because the prelims is just stepping stones to the o's. take a time-out, its still not late.

most are going to pon-school tomorrow. sounds like a good idea? dam it is. actually school is dam boring now. all the papers are given back, and its just going to be revision. i'm sick of all these and i need to refresh myself. i'm taking a short break.

i promise myself i'll get back even stronger. and its good to know that someone will be behind you. good thing is i can see myself studying in a week time. one last sprint, i'll do my best.

its sad to see that things are this way now. maybe some friends are not fated to be. its never going to be the same, let nature take its course.

next to the dot.

today's history paper was so dramatic!!!

so i stayed up studying so intensely into China, Germany and Russia and they all didn't come out for the exams! instead, questions on War in Europe, Japan and Fall of Communism came out. like what the @#!%#@!$#%$@#%$!@%#$!%@$#%!$@#%!@#!!!!!!!!!!!

all those that i didn't want to study came out and i just wasted my time staying up. i could have gotten to bed earlier or just spend time on other subjects. in the end, i chose the question about war in europe and just came up with essays with my own knowledge and by guessing parts and puzzle about the facts.

what a joke.

tomorrow's the next history paper. this schedule sucks. drains you up on monday and you have to get charged up for tuesday again. argh...

just done doing up some reading up the history of S'pore and Malaya. and i'm going to get to bed because the a maths paper 2 is equally important to me. guess what folks, i haven't memorize any facts about history for tomorrow because i will only do it tomorrow in the morning.
and....
because of the paper today, i learnt that God might just want to make fun of you.
i bet he poked me in the tummy and laughed at me throughout the examinations today.

LOL.

Tooth of Wisdom.

its so hard to study through the prelims, cause of the constantly irritating headaches i'm having. i think it might be cause of the Tooth of Wisdom wanting to come out. the whole of the right side of my jaw has been hurting for the past month and i'm so lazy and negative about doing anything about it. so the speed of eating have been decreasing, and the difficulty in chewing has been increasing.

and what a coincidental time to come. when the prelims and o's are just knocking on my ass.

the prelims has been crazily sick. because my study plans have almost all failed. all the stupid plans about studying a week or so earlier and then be just right on time before the papers, is bullshit to cheat myself. I NEED URGENCY TO DRIVE ME ON....
and... a week before the papers is not urgency to me. it is 24hours before the papers that i'll be concerned about.
so, my study plans or what many calls 'the last minute study' guy has strike for the past week and going!

well, this study plan of mine has been proven to be some kinda useful to me for the past many examinations. and i hope the miracle will work again.

now, i need to get dive back into my sea of books.
and with the ever so irritaing ache on my jaw, my meals have to be suffered.

the worst of all, is my sleep being deprived. and i cant sleep as well as 2weeks ago! i keep going on thinking about my papers, and i take like an hour to get to sleep. and my usual 15hours sleep have like cut short to 6hours. i'm so worried about everything. or maybe excited.

oh God, all the post-prelims plans are planned and they're so tempting. let me get through the week with Wisdom and let me PLAY PLAY PLAY!

argh.........

Tiger is tooo good for anyone. (Y)

and my secret to everyone: i'm afraid of going to the dentist to get those huge jabs on my aw-so vulnerable gums. and worst to have them cut and sewn back. ewww. it just makes me think twice about having my Wisdoms taken out.

come on Wisdoms, work and show me why you're called the Wisdoms.

Burn my Floor.

teacher's day was so-so. wasn't a very very fun thing. the only fun thing was seeing teachers in their school uniforms. (Y) hahaha.

Ms.Hudd was so hot!

best S.S teacher. ahah!

my friends are so vulgar...

for fun. :D

floorplay on friday was freaking good. i will definitely go for it the next time. and i want to learn dancing. who's going to join me? :D

:D

tuesday and wednesday was DBS at warren. stayed over at oka's place cause warren's like the other side of the world from tampines. as usual, it was fun. hahaha.
played quite well. 73, 75. falling just short, and got second. was quite disappointed, cause i thought i had a good chance of winning it. well, haven't been practicing much and achieveing second's not bad!
and as usual, oka, kenji, lion and ben went mad......
and sushi was great... as usual. :D
more bridge to come! hahahha.

now DBS is over. its really time to study! haha. but its just days before the prelims start. so... i'm need to start slogging. and my eyebag's just going to be worst. hahahha.

i'm sorry for being such a lousy boyfriend. :(