Devil.

Tonight, the moon is shining so brightly. I haven't seen it so bright in awhile, without much clouds covering it. The light emitted reflected off the roof tops, a sight not quite breathe taking.

Today, someone told me not to focus on what I don't have, but rather on what I have. I stopped and ponder on what my dear friend has told me, its so true. Really? Is that the way to live life in abundance? But sometimes its tough, because what you don't have, you want it badly. How hard would you fight for what you want?

I'm sad and disappointed. I can tell that day by day, you get worst. Feels like you're into some sort of crazy vicious cycle. But at the least of everything, I feel like there's life injected into you. What you want to do with your life, is your decision. I hope at the end of the day, you wouldn't regret.

I didn't chose like you, I did not give up when the going got tough. I hung in there to be the same old me. Even if there aint anything going on between us, I still wanted you to see me good and well. I didn't want you to worry about anything.

But whatever it is, whatever you chose to do, things seemed to go a whole lot better. I sense motivation and some joy about something I'm not exactly sure of. It seems like thing are starting to make sense for you. And I'm happy for you.

Though for so long I've tried and failed to be able to do this, I'm just glad someone that came into your life helped.

Now, I feel like its for the kill. Don't lose it, don't lose the momentum, its building up. And I'm so much on the edge. Go for the kill, take your train and smash into me and make me dead. I'm meant to die earlier, kill my heart. Because to hold on for some unknown reason to too tough for me.

That cup of tall javachip is really going to keep me up for awhile.

Is this a test? A test of faith? A test of the strength of you in me? I just can't erase that feeling I had of you at first sight. And I know its that you that made my heart flutter. Now, its too one-sided, we lost the romantic element.

My wild mind gave a thought last night, if I lose myself to be like you, could I win you back?

Its been long since I've seen you sane, surely you have found what you wanted and needed. Silently pleased for you.

And for me, to take a leap of faith to get my ass of that very edge of yours.