Tousle.

All good things/good times come to an end. how true. but with the end of something good, it follows with a heartbreak, it ends with a disappointment, it finishes leaving regret, it brings unhappiness. given another chance, another choice, would you have accepted happiness and good times again?

No doubt, being upset and all the unhappiness is the benchmark for euphoria. the line drawn between such feelings will always be intangible. it is contrasting, but getting from one end to the other is never a feat. you cannot control emotions, you cannot control feelings, neither can you stop hallucinating about things that are impossible. so i must stay on my feet, and do my reality checks.

Just caught MJ, This Is It with oka. any MJ fan, please go catch it. its worth your money and fucking time off studying. i feel sad that he just died like that. i dont understand why he deserve to die just like that. all the efforts he has put in for his last show, just went down the drain. he deserve a fucking chance to show how talented he is for 50 year old man before dying. life is short, life is unpredictable. dont want to leave with regrets.

I hate it when you make me feel that way. i really really hate it.

Tomorrow's yet another day.

The A's is coming, but the end is not far away. how exciting.

Miss the real you.

Fragility of Life.

I vividly remembered how nice it was a week or so ago. i remembered how warmth your hand felt and how comforting your words were. you sympathize with me, you seem like you know how i feel. your pat on my back tells me you understand my plight and at the point of time, it seemed like only you could comprehend my difficulties. you joked with me about life, and you make me laugh. you are special to me because regardless of your age, your sense of humor is ever-present. you told me what i can do to feel better, and you gave me comfort to think my way. you embrace my contributions and you make me think less, worry less. i remembered how nice it was to sit by your bed side, to watch the television with your hand in mine. and i will always remember your words.

The second last time i saw you, was the worst i have seen of you. i know you were already seeing things we cannot see, and refuse to face the fact that its almost time for you. it pains me because you cannot recognize me anymore, and you wont reach out for my hand again. but i reach out for yours, because i know you can listen and feel the presence of all your loved ones. your body trembled with every breath you take, and i know how much you want to live. i cannot do anything to help, i can only stand and wait. never in my world, that i would know it will be my second last time seeing you.

The moment i got the news, i rushed down and hope to see you again. i hope to see you for the last time, i hope you can hear my voice. but it was planned, that the last time i see you, you would stop breathing and you would lose the fight you fought your best. perhaps, it'll be better for you. i could only stand and pray inside. this time, i didn't have to talk, because i know you can hear me on the inside. that you would rest and go in peace.

Chinese New Year 2010 will be without you, and i have one less person who loves me. but i know you will be watching from up there, and i will always feel your love mama.

Farewell!

Its so sad that there's no more tutorials, lectures and anything and everything that a class or cohort can collectively do together. it is indeed the farewell, and everyone's on their own. no more class, no more nothing. and even some cliques that are together because of everyday school, may just drift because without school, it is indeed hard to maintain such close friendship.

I miss my classmates, my teachers and other friends that i know we cannot get any closer and it's only because of school we are friends! its unbelievably fast that JC life ended so abruptly. and there are regrets for things that i haven't do, or haven't put in an extra mile for some people. in contrast, i really feel so so so glad to have met some people.

Of course, the Basketball team is one of the best things that have happened to me. and not forgetting, the seniors. ESG (East-Side-Gang) if you still don't know about it! we will continue living our legacy and we will still do everything we did 20-30-40 years down the road! the Pool Gang, i still miss the times when we all can meet and open 2-3 tables and enjoy time together. Twins! for so much so much unforgettable memories, we need to meet for tennis soon! Bio Lecture group! all the entertaining each other during boring lectures, and the simpang that we needed so much that week. 08S37! and now the individual pokemons like tansijing, jobeltan, wongyuhua, amandatan, andersaplin and surenghanimycousin that have brought much joy to school and my life.

I just can't imagine how life would be for me without knowing you people!

VJC is a place i would miss badly, anytime after i graduate.