CHOCHOLATE + FISHBALL NOODLES.

hah..... time check, its according to my handphone, exactly 12am!! congratulations to myself for staying awake. haha.

actually i got home at 5plus this afternoon and i went to sleep immediately after a good bath. so i sleep till 7plus and i thought i was going to study with yingying, but things took a turn and i ended up sleeping. haha. by the time i knew it, i find myself taking a nap until the late hours of 11pm. hah. got up and take a light 'dinner'. and hell yeah i find myself energised to do some studying again.

u know what, studying is addictive. keep studying, studying and studying, there's a momentum to it. try it, study real hard for days and spend a day doing nothing. u'll feel all so empty inside, but i'm sure everyone would feel this way after the exams. but after the exams? who cares, everyone just parties.

so my life have been rather boring studying everyday. so i tried to spice it up a little studying with different groups of people. and sometimes it helps. i really wanted to hit the gym yesterday, but i was really tired and i thought i might as well not, before i destroy myself before the exams. haha.

school seem to end really fast nowadays. i try to make use of every minute to do anything benefical or related to studying. while i feel all so stressed-up, time passes real quickly. and, everyone is working real hard now.

finally i get to touch the basketball today. i had a good time with friends on the court. haha. it was like 6v6. all our class boys came down and just released all our examination stress. its good to pespire a little at times like this, thats why i wanted to hit the gym. hah. so i had a good time and i cant wait for exams to be over and done and start training real hard for next year.

i'm really excited for the taiwan trip with the team during the december holidays. although i'll be leaving many people i know i love so much, it wont take long before i'm back. i'm really glad that huiwen is able to make it, and sorry for that shock on purpose this morning. haha. i'm sure u didn't take it seriously. so, i'm looking forward to it that i'm planning about certain things now. argh, i know i cant be distracted now and just be focus for another week to get everything done and over with.

this weekend, i dont think i'll be heading down for church. leon told me he's not going, so i dont feel like going too. its not like he's my reason for church, but just that everyone has a mate for doing anything. just like asking you if you would want to play basketball without your team-mates. so church would be 50-50 this weekend. i'll try to make it for sunday 10am, new week, new start! alright man. haha.

i'm feeling all so better after receiving that nice and long msg. i'm not replying cause i thought u might just be sound asleep. so i'm looking forward to the calls. :) much love, lotsa love.

equation to note for the day : CHOCHOLATE + FISHBALL NOODLES ------> CHOCHOLATE NOODLES + FISHBALL (because chocholate is more reactive (higher in the reactivity series) than fishball, displacement takes place.)

haha. dont worry everyone, i've not turn bonkers yet.

Age and Sex.

Men reach their sexual peak in their late teens. An 18-year-old male can have multiple orgasms quite easily with little recovery time needed in between. But a man at 50 may need to wait 12 to 24 hours before he is able to have another organsm.

In comparison, women bloom sexually slower than men. Their sexual desire is usually lower in the teens and early 20s. They reach full capacity only in the 30s and early 40s. But a woman can have multiple orgasms all throughout her adult life.

When a young wife in her 20s does not want to have sex, it is usually biological and not because she does not love her husband. When a man in his 20s is strongly sexual oreinted - talking and thinking about sex all the time - it is biological. And it has to do with his identity as a male.

A women in her 20s places a high priority on intimacy on the marriage relationship - a special sense of belonging. But for the man, it is usually one thing - sex! It does not mean that all he sees in his wife is a sex object. No, he simply has a high sex drive!

During the 30s, a man's and woman's sex drive tends to equal out.

But in the 40s and 50s, there is an interesting reversal. During those years, a wife is more interested in sex than her husband. And she may feel rejected if he does not show the same interest. Some experts attribute that to menopause, fewer family demands, and greater enjoyment from work. While the wife still desires intimacy, she now wants to know that she is still sexually desirable to her husband. But now, the middle-aged husband places more importance on his wife's value and personality. What is more important to him is sensitivity, understanding, warmth, kindness and generosity.

The husband moves on from the need of eros to phileo. He is now more fulfilled having his wife as his companion and friend than a sex partner.

But the woman moves on from being primarily satisfied by phileo to eros. She derives more pleasure through sexual contacts than just being a friend. And her self-worth as a woman will be affected if she is deprived of sex.

In his 20s, the ideal wife to the husband is measured in terms of beauty, curves in the right places, and sexiness. But a husband in his 50s is different. He still wants his wife to look good, but he is no londer hung up on her being a perfect "10."

facts from the making marriage work workbook.

a block of ice.

what am i supposed to be doing, thinking at any point of time now. why do i have to worry, think about, be naive, thinking about things that only i am interested.
its tough, tough to do so much at a time. i think i'll just study, study, study. anything else, i'll leave it to nature after exams. u're like a block of ice, i just cant hold and grip u. u're just going to melt away.

i miss doing things that are not near the examination period. i miss playing basketball, playing golf, hitting the gym more often, miss going out with friends, miss talking over the phone with many people, miss spending time with you, miss going out for meals, miss going out for pool, miss going out for lan, miss going out and have fun.
i vow to enjoy my holidays this year as much as i can, and i dont want to feel unhappy again.
you affect me, yet u dont know.
for all my misery, i can only blame myself. for all my disppointments, i can only look back and laugh at how foolish i was. for all my worries, its was just not neccessary. for all the hurt, i deserve it.

too many things to remember. i know its too many, and i dont want to force u into anything. just let exams be over before we start or do anything alright. right now, i can only assure u once again, and be there for you to lean on.

clear but confuse.

ha. now its 1.52am but i'm still not asleep yet. not sure why i'm still so clear headed at this hour, even though i woke up at 9.30 in the morning. many things to talk about since the last time i post, but i'm not going to talk about every single thing that happened. maybe just about some things that i realised and learnt.

3 more weeks to end-of-years exam, i'm sure everyone is feeling the intensity and all mugging for life. i cannot deny that i'm counting down 17days, and hey, its just 17more days and u get a big rest. so work hard everyone, thats what i try to tell myself whenever the word GIVE UP comes into my mind. so i'm trying to be more attentive in class or whenever it comes to work. studying smart is really really important.

we just had our last basketball training on thursday before we get started for exams. hah, i was really looking for that training, for no reason, i just wanted to push myself to the limit that day. true enough, i ended falling on the ground screaming in pain. i got a bad cramp on my left calf, but man i love to feel cramps and muscle aches. its just a positive feeling. i'm sure coach is glad or rather please to see myself pushing everything. setting a good example is important, influencing the right way is admirable.
though thursday training was tiring enough, our batch ask for more and we played ball on friday as well. we played some stupid and rather funny 5v5 with the girls at first before getting into real real serious business after that. 4v4, huiwen, k.c, rocket and i on the same side. we called that the 'dream team'. haha. dam dumb la, we were bored in class and we made that up, cause 4 of us sat just alongside. again, i knew all that would happen, and i wish to see all of it to stop. its not helping us, but instead making things more complicated or worst. i dont understand why we cant sit down as a team and talk, instead getting angry with each other within minimum treshold. anyway, trainings are suspended for the time-being, i hope everyone think about the team.

no one's wrong, because everyone held each other by the term BEST FRIEND. so do not be mad at anything, cause we dont have to blame anyone.

i really want to talk you, and i hope i have the chance, or rather give me the chance. i really dont understand, why have such a short fuse on someone u consider as a true friend? u dont know how much u can actually hurt me like that.

went to church just now, its actually my 3rd time, and a good sight of it, its consistent. i went for saturday's service this week instead because the message would be more beneficial to me and leon. its about fighting fair, actually its for married couples, but nevertheless, u know its appliable for cases like leon and i. tomorrow's about having a relationship that's affair-proof, dont you all agree that leon suits that better? haha. anyway, i'm sure he'll learn something from either service. yingying and all goes for sunday's service but today only me and leon went. and we met this new friend we made the first time we came. so today was just 3 of us.

and yes, i learnt a lot from this message again.
when we are with someone who really dislikes what we like, the overall enjoyment is lowered. happiness is a combination of personal happiness and the other person's happiness as well.

oh ya, i dont know but this weekly church meet-ups surely did improve our friendship, leon. standing side by side, realising, learning, admitting our faults, knowing the strengths and weakness of each other, and giving each other a good hug to dismiss the service is one good way of building a strong friendship. thanks buddy.

went off to eat at my favourite bedok interchange again, before setting off to bedok's mac for study. all in all, it has been a good day for me, not just i learn about how to be a better person, but also learn more about my biology. right yingying? haha.

the same thing, the scene just kept flashing in my mind. about how and when i'm going to do it, i cant promise you anything. but be certain that i'll be responsible. though i wished that you didn't tell me all that truth at that point of time, but its still pretty heart-warming to think about it now. sorry that it have been so tough on you all this time, i'm feeling really lousy about handling this. for all the time that we weeped silently in the night, i curse and swear at myself for not knowing anything. for all the time you tried to make things better but i thought otherwise, i ask for forgiveness.

i'm going to have a gooooddd sleeep later and then golf in the evening tomorrow. cant wait for golf, going to have 9-holes with johnathan and raymond. omg, i still cant believe Michael Loy is Cally's dad. lol.

see you someday and i hope things would take a big turn.

city harvest.

church on sunday was not bad. although it started in the morning. me and leon thought we might regret going for it but after the service, we talked about it and man, its worth it after all. i dont know, but i always had a bad impression of city harvest. i dont know why, maybe because i have a lousy relationship with my sister. and my sister is always closely subjected to her church, city harvest. i only remember myself attending church services trice this year. once at Full Gospel Assembly and second time at city harvest. there's much difference, atmosphere in city harvest is really crazy. there're like 10times more people and what leon and i realised is that the energy never dies in their service. everyone just go on singing and singing. anyway, its a experience.

the service talked about how marraige would work. although i'm not married yet, i could closely relate what Paster Kong was talking about. and next week he's going to talk about communication and anger mangement. i think i'm going to go for it, cause i think i need both of these. Pastor Kong is one great guy, like the best person i seen talking real life.

golf tournament on monday tuesday, DBS Junior Challenge at Seletar Country Club. today was PBG August Medal at Orchid Country Club. didn't play well for DBS, shot 83 and 80. couldn't make it for top 10. but i shot 76 for the medal which was quite good. the competitiveness for the medal was way less compared to DBS, so 76 was enough to win. thank god my dad didn't got fed up waking up early for 3 mornings straight.

training tomorrow morning. 9am again!! ZZZZZzzzZZZZ. i'm going to be sleepy again. but nevermind, huiwen is there for motivation. anyway, i think we kinda lost and forget about our motivation right? let me constantly remind you, huiwen.

oh ya, its sec3 training tomorrow. that makes a whole lot better, because we haven't trained with coach for years........ so i'm sure everyone looks forward to it. RUN RUN RUN.

i'm glad that you told me things but i just wished that you would tell me when we're together. i thought it would be better.

i'm not there, but dont worry. cause close and true friends have their hearts there for each other no matter what.

i'm sure i can say it this time.

all i can say that it affects me. and how much it affects me, you wont know. because it wont be right infront of you. i hope the message got through to you, and lets hope you think right. i know there're people around and so i wont be. until the day, where its all dark then i'll come out to you. i guess its a consolation for you. anyway, it makes my heart sour.

high socks.

so now its end of term3. and its sad to know that its only a short term left before my 3rd year in Anglican ends. i didn't do very well for term3. or should i say that its my worst. but anyway, many things have been happening this term and since it cannot be used as an excuse, i'll work harder for term4 to make it up.

happy teacher's day to all teachers who taught me. though i doubt any reads my blog. i haven't told any teachers in Anglican happy teacher's day yet. and i dont think there's anything like belated for teacher's day. i realised that teachers in secondary school dont take this day very importantly. i remember, back in primary school days, the teacher's day concert was something the whole school would look forward to. and the day would be very special with me and my classmates all excited to pass our teachers their presents. in secondary school, this is rare. and the teachers dont really care, with only 4students are invited for Anglican's teacher's day concert.

so recap.
wheelbarrow day on wednesday. paired up with weehoe, hoping to win. hah. we didn't practice, just went there and tried. we came in somewhere in the middle, i still dont understand why we were slow. haha. anyway, its over and good try weehoe. u did great! even though we fell. ha!

thursday was paper1 for english and chinese. same thing happened like last year. it rained during the papers and was freeking cold as i was under the strongest ceiling fan in class. though, i rather it be like that, then hot and humid. i had a bad gastric after the english paper and luckily the hot milo helped. so i was alright by the time the chinese paper start approximately an hour later. i dont want to talk about how i'ld faired, but i doubt that it'll be any great.
graci joined us that day and i hope she had fun. had lunch at Ajisen, and it clearly showed that she's shy. i dont know why!! haha. i know graci can eat more than i can but she's just shy....
anyway, i left lou and graci to catch their monster house and then i went down to primary school.

meet qifeng first and then caught up with steven in pri.school. it was great to see all the old teachers. but its really sad to see many new faces in the staff room, and many more have left the school. we played ball in the rain and it was real fun. haha. we were like kids. oh ya, and i tired to dunk. i almost could la. i could grab the rim easily but its tough to dunk. plus, it was wet and all. but anyway, i admit that my vertical jump is short. shorter than most.

meet louisa again after that. and i had a great time!! see, i am strong and i didn't do it. now i know its actually possible.

friday was okay. met leon and then went over to chunyong's place. left with leecheng to play pool later in the evening. i haven't lost my form yet. not bad not bad. had dinner at my favourite bedok interchange again. then left before 8.40 to meet louisa again. i was so happy when i got your phone call okay. anyway, we had great time again.

i miss you i miss you i really really do. it was surprising to hear you say all that, so surprising i didn't believe you at first. i have love sickness all the time. if you're really observant enough to know all these. dont be unhaappy, because i can be there most of the time. its the amount of chances you give me. i love you, i hope the surprise brightened up your week.

this morning was nafa.
sit up = 44
sit and reach = 48cm
shuttle-run = 9.6secs
standing board/broad (haha) jump = 238cm
vertical pull-ups = 8

sit up and the jump was disappointing. nevermind. went to eat at 85 with everyone as usual then went to play lan at simei for awhile. after lan, ate again, at simei this time. but only me, chunyong and weehoe. ate and talked for dam dam long. almost 2hours plus. i'm glad to hear you speak weehoe, and i'm relieved to have the chance to tell you all that i kept inside for quite sometime. anyway, i hope things would improve.

went over to chunyong's place after that and then we went down to play ball until 8.20. we played dam long, and we're King of Simei. haha. we haven't lost any 2on2 just now.

got home right after that, and here i am blogging after bathing and dinner.

going to church tomorrow morning. with leon and yingying. ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ. i dont really feel like going. i'm more interested in the computer fair at Expo. haha. 9am = ZZzZZ. golf in the evening tomorrow.

why haven't you call me.. look at the time.. i'm waiting. miss you like crazy. just that you dont know.