Age and Sex.
Men reach their sexual peak in their late teens. An 18-year-old male can have multiple orgasms quite easily with little recovery time needed in between. But a man at 50 may need to wait 12 to 24 hours before he is able to have another organsm.
In comparison, women bloom sexually slower than men. Their sexual desire is usually lower in the teens and early 20s. They reach full capacity only in the 30s and early 40s. But a woman can have multiple orgasms all throughout her adult life.
When a young wife in her 20s does not want to have sex, it is usually biological and not because she does not love her husband. When a man in his 20s is strongly sexual oreinted - talking and thinking about sex all the time - it is biological. And it has to do with his identity as a male.
A women in her 20s places a high priority on intimacy on the marriage relationship - a special sense of belonging. But for the man, it is usually one thing - sex! It does not mean that all he sees in his wife is a sex object. No, he simply has a high sex drive!
During the 30s, a man's and woman's sex drive tends to equal out.
But in the 40s and 50s, there is an interesting reversal. During those years, a wife is more interested in sex than her husband. And she may feel rejected if he does not show the same interest. Some experts attribute that to menopause, fewer family demands, and greater enjoyment from work. While the wife still desires intimacy, she now wants to know that she is still sexually desirable to her husband. But now, the middle-aged husband places more importance on his wife's value and personality. What is more important to him is sensitivity, understanding, warmth, kindness and generosity.
The husband moves on from the need of eros to phileo. He is now more fulfilled having his wife as his companion and friend than a sex partner.
But the woman moves on from being primarily satisfied by phileo to eros. She derives more pleasure through sexual contacts than just being a friend. And her self-worth as a woman will be affected if she is deprived of sex.
In his 20s, the ideal wife to the husband is measured in terms of beauty, curves in the right places, and sexiness. But a husband in his 50s is different. He still wants his wife to look good, but he is no londer hung up on her being a perfect "10."
facts from the making marriage work workbook.
In comparison, women bloom sexually slower than men. Their sexual desire is usually lower in the teens and early 20s. They reach full capacity only in the 30s and early 40s. But a woman can have multiple orgasms all throughout her adult life.
When a young wife in her 20s does not want to have sex, it is usually biological and not because she does not love her husband. When a man in his 20s is strongly sexual oreinted - talking and thinking about sex all the time - it is biological. And it has to do with his identity as a male.
A women in her 20s places a high priority on intimacy on the marriage relationship - a special sense of belonging. But for the man, it is usually one thing - sex! It does not mean that all he sees in his wife is a sex object. No, he simply has a high sex drive!
During the 30s, a man's and woman's sex drive tends to equal out.
But in the 40s and 50s, there is an interesting reversal. During those years, a wife is more interested in sex than her husband. And she may feel rejected if he does not show the same interest. Some experts attribute that to menopause, fewer family demands, and greater enjoyment from work. While the wife still desires intimacy, she now wants to know that she is still sexually desirable to her husband. But now, the middle-aged husband places more importance on his wife's value and personality. What is more important to him is sensitivity, understanding, warmth, kindness and generosity.
The husband moves on from the need of eros to phileo. He is now more fulfilled having his wife as his companion and friend than a sex partner.
But the woman moves on from being primarily satisfied by phileo to eros. She derives more pleasure through sexual contacts than just being a friend. And her self-worth as a woman will be affected if she is deprived of sex.
In his 20s, the ideal wife to the husband is measured in terms of beauty, curves in the right places, and sexiness. But a husband in his 50s is different. He still wants his wife to look good, but he is no londer hung up on her being a perfect "10."
facts from the making marriage work workbook.
posted by julian low at 8:31 PM
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