all this.
still trying to get the studying momentum. its tough when the bball season starts. so i tried to catch up. but i'm caught up by someone emotionally. so its tough. had amaths test. i'll probably fail this one again. ARGH!!!! i hate to have this failing feeling. it just suck. its like stopping me from studying. i'll just ask myself why i should carry on with this when i tries so hard and i know i'm going to fail. then i had a retest after that for chemistry. so i have two test on the same day and i had to study for ting xie. why cant the teachers understand somehow. i thought its different in a sports class. but i'm realising that its not different. so chemistry wasn't that well-done either. lost 6marks outta 12 for the dam chemical formulas. so the most i can get now is 32 out of 40. because i knew i got another 2 wrong. dumb la. its dumb to know the highest i can get is 32 when i want to do better than 32.5. i wanted to improve. but why is it getting harder and harder? dam. maybe i should just let it go this term. next term i'll get all that back.
after chem test. i talked to ms tay. privately. talked to her about how i feel about many things. they include u girl. u might not believe that i actually did, but i really did regardless who u believe. i felt that talking to ms tay helps. i mean she tries to understand from my point of view and she tells me about a girl's mind. sometimes, i just need a person beside to understand all that i'm trying to do.
girl, i know its tough on u now. but everyone has their ups and downs. never think of giving up because now's not the time. u have all the help u can have from the people around u. but u have to help yourself first. dont ever ever think of letting all this go. because its tiring to get your determination back. i know now, the past and maybe in the near future. i shouldn't be like this. i know u're going through all these now and i shouldn't be such a bastard. but always bear this in your mind that i never wanted to make u unhappy or to make things difficult for u. i just wanted the best for u. maybe u just dont like the way i mould things for u. maybe u just need more space from me. babe, i look like that in front of u. but inside, i cant take it anymore. i dont know how u feel. maybe u just really cant be bothered with me anymore. but pls pls dont give everything up. because i'm still there loving u.
theres ups and down. and after downs, u'll have ups. so look forward. i'm sure your tomorrow will be better. -muchlove
after chem test. i talked to ms tay. privately. talked to her about how i feel about many things. they include u girl. u might not believe that i actually did, but i really did regardless who u believe. i felt that talking to ms tay helps. i mean she tries to understand from my point of view and she tells me about a girl's mind. sometimes, i just need a person beside to understand all that i'm trying to do.
girl, i know its tough on u now. but everyone has their ups and downs. never think of giving up because now's not the time. u have all the help u can have from the people around u. but u have to help yourself first. dont ever ever think of letting all this go. because its tiring to get your determination back. i know now, the past and maybe in the near future. i shouldn't be like this. i know u're going through all these now and i shouldn't be such a bastard. but always bear this in your mind that i never wanted to make u unhappy or to make things difficult for u. i just wanted the best for u. maybe u just dont like the way i mould things for u. maybe u just need more space from me. babe, i look like that in front of u. but inside, i cant take it anymore. i dont know how u feel. maybe u just really cant be bothered with me anymore. but pls pls dont give everything up. because i'm still there loving u.
theres ups and down. and after downs, u'll have ups. so look forward. i'm sure your tomorrow will be better. -muchlove
posted by julian low at 6:59 PM
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