Desperate.

I am desperate to get what i want. and i want it so badly! so don't worry that my desire would die off, or my change of commitment, because i would jump at any opportunity to get myself there. sometimes i really don't understand why people always get what they don't want, and when you want something, it always seem harder or less direct. everything is so simple, but because of how complicated and sophisticated human beings are, such a process is taking so dam long. i don't need anyone to stick their necks out for me, because i own myself and i take my own responsibility. if i fail one day, i won't even factor you in.

Flying has been more and more enjoyable. although what i am learning is increasing, and expectations of the instructors are getting higher, i take pride into that and i enjoy the challenge. the day before i was doing circuits low level solo and it rained halfway and it was a new experience. today i was doing circuits short field take-off/landing solo and was runway changed to 21. another new experience. hopefully there would be more new experiences! time is running out and i still failed ratings, so friday is the re-take. praying hard that i can cross this hurdle......

I feel so blessed to have a group of friends who never fails to make me laugh all the time. i like it because there is no restrain and we do stupid things and we just laugh. and i don't even mind just sitting anywhere with them, because it is indeed only the company that matters.

Sometimes i feel like i have too much time, and at the same time too little? don't know what i'm saying, so i just hope there's someone out there who actually feels the same way as i do! its like if someone ask me if i'm free, i would say no, i'm not. but if someone says that i'm a busy boy then i would say no, i'm fucking free. this is just contradicting.

Dinner tomorrow with hoe, cy, mac and mum. 4 person, 3 vehicles, like wtf.

Fucking sleepy, going to cuddle in bed.... not until the late afternoon.

Still miss you, let me get over you...