Your Ghost.

i realized a lot, that i dont want to be the only one left that's empty and lonely. i loved my childhood sweetheart and i forever will. my childhood sweetheart's my best love and i thought i would marry my childhood love. but i needed one, no, countless chances to to be forgiven because of my mistakes. and its true, the pain that comes from regret is so much more than the pain of choosing to be separated. 

reality hurts, and i wanted to run away from it. but you hinted to me in the slightest way before, that you would move on one day. and i was right, i would hate you in the end because i cant love you.  

i hate it when i know nothing of you, and only when i'm so desperate i use others to find out about you. but its always too late, i'm always too late to board onto the same train as you are, i'm always slow to realize how much you needed me. i can only said i tried, but thats it. 

no more hopes for me, and though the pain is so immense, i am proud of you. 

here comes goodbye, enjoy your new life, without me.