Intangible Exhaustion.

Federer lost and i feel so sad! it was so heart-piercing to see him lose. the worst part of all, he couldn't control his emotions and broke down and cry during his speech. it totally made me feel like crying too! i wish i could give him a hug or something, wanting him to move on and fight for the next slam. 

it's always that easy to say move on, or cheer up. it always seem that easy to look on the bright side of life. but i find it so hard at times, especially things that mean so much to me backfire. i hate leaving, i hate it when people that means so much to me start leaving my side. and i cant do anything at all about it. in short, i hate feeling useless. 

my dream, your dream, our dream, seem so impossible by now. suddenly, it just sapped all my motivation, confidence and perseverance. i just hate it, why do you chose to leave me. i fucking hate it. fuck fuck fuck. 

there's a limitation to everything, i hope you dont blame me my friend. i just couldn't let go when i haven't tried my best, my very best. its just me, i had to make sure i've done everything before giving up. at least, within my own abilities. 

goodbye for now.