Float me be.

lydia's right, i guess you'll never be replaced. probably always be that sweet and special. the times we had will always be that special to me. i will not try to erase them, and i will let it live in me. let it linger on, till oneday it may or may not fade off. i wait, wait for my one. and i tell myself to have patience, because i'm losing hope in love.

you're one special girl, so special i cant imagine someone else.

many thoughts ran through my mind today. some insignificant, some worrying and some disappointing. but i guess i cant possibly name them all out, because some's too insignificant that it's not even worth to be here. and some are too personal i dont want to talk about it because it'll bother me more.

i'm disappointed at the way you look at life. you give up too easily, and i hate to see that. i care not because you're my friend, but something more than that. it isn't the end of everything, and i dont see why you have to be like this. tell me, whether you're ready to stand up on your feet to face all these. because if you are, i will walk through all these with you. dont tell me you'll be better off living in another world, because i simply dont see it that way with the way you gave up. to me, i already see improvement, so dont lose hope. dont tell me you're shortchanged, dont tell me you've done your best in all these and dont tell me you're treated unfairly. if you think you're cheated then i think you're a loser. i'm sorry i had to say all these, but all because i care too much for you. remember we said we'll do all these together and make it at the end? remember we had dreams, and the way we celebrate our sweet victory? shall we look forward to victory again? i hope you'll be motivated to work harder, not just for me, but for everyone around you that always seemed to care and love you. most importantly, do it for yourself.

i'm finally putting effort into PW because i'm really a free-rider and i feel so guilty towards violet and team. i guess, i gotta run an extra mile for them now. and kick my wonderful weekend off, by meeting violet tomorrow morning. hell yeah, bet i'm going to have a great time.

sometimes you're so complicated i cant understand. you ride me high, only to kill me again. you'll never know how you make my heart beat.

and i thought, are you all out there just to turn the lives of others upside down? i'll never understand why you wouldn't reciprocate with truth when i give you my best. sometimes i just wish to thrash things out, but that would scare the shit out of you. but if i dont, i really cant see this act go on.

then it came out of its hiding place and shot me. like why are things like that. i guess you wondered and worried too much, and you probably hated me for not talking. i never blamed the fact that you didn't understand me enough, instead i wanted to give time. i guess time heals it all, but i guess it doesn't with the way you want it to be. you think i did it on purpose and you think i'm a bastard. hold on, please spare a thought for the childish you. the way you thought would work out fine, was a total disaster to me.

i guess, time with secondary school friends would surely keep me away from these thoughts for awhile. sometimes i think they are the best, because they dont judge me, they dont discourage me, but they embrace me with their words and make me feel at the top of the world, at times. they accept the way i grow up and the way i am. the best part of all, they always seemed to be there whenever i needed them. i guess, i wouldn't want to throw something like that away.

lets wrap up the story with lydia. marvelous ice-cream is really marvelous! we gotta go back for more! and it was fun just walking around, doing things we like, talking about things that were close to our hearts. guess, we'll have more of the nice-nice food in the future right lyd? hahahaha!

guess how beautiful you are? look into my eyes..

off to last lecture! goodnight folks!