its not that u cant cheer me up. but u just made it worst. dont tell me not to care because since we're already in top 4. its okay. it may be an encouragement. but it just doesn't help if u say it in that way. if we lose, i wouldn't get so upset. but do u know what happened in the match? do u know i was the cause of the lost? do u know that? do u know how awful i felt? instead of feeling that i want to win too much which cause to my upset. i just needed sometime with u, to tell u everything. but i get no chance. i really needed it. the call was comforting to know that u'll be coming. i laid on the bed and the game just rewinds over and over again. waiting for u to come, knowing u'll come, just gives me a consolation. times up. i waited, called, worried. no use. i knew it was going to be another disappointment. well, i got prepared. but the call came too late. it came with an excuse which i dont get it. i dont know why u told me a yes when u had your training. if u promised me, i'm not sure why u dont try to fulfill it. maybe u didn't promise. the phone call ended less than 1min. so i felt worst in there. many things i thought about. remember i told u something this morning? i just felt like that. i can feel people out there, giving me, telling me that anytime. anytime. but i dont bother. all i want is yours. even if its just 10times lesser than theirs. i dont mind. but things just pass and go my side. alast, that all i wanted vibration came. it ended less than 2mins. its not that i dont want to talk. but i just dont know how to start. to cry, pouring out to you about my game, or ask u about why u did this and that. i know its your excuse to shut that call up. well, it didn't help. if u're able to hang it up, study and do well for what u want. then good for you. if u get tired, frusfrated to do anything for me. then don't.

the whistle went. i bend down and i couldn't stop. i knew it was my fault. i knew it, team. dont try to tell me its not. anyway when it went off, it was all you. u were the first thing in mind. but i just got disappointed how u could bear and not worry about me and press the red button on the phone.

i'll just wait for another call.